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      New here? This is a good place to introduce yourself, meet other newbies, and get support and information for the journey toward the end of your addiction.

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  • How Did You Get Here?   130 members have voted

    1. 1. Simple Question. How did you get here? Answers are anonymous but feedback welcome

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  • Latest Posts

    • MJM
      @Molly78 That is terrible re the car crash but it sounds like it was a big one - I'm glad that you are okay... you very easily might not have been. It's a good thing that your son is facing his addiction. Many don't. And good on you for giving your other son a home after his divorce. Depending on how you view having adult children living with you, it could be great... or not so much! I know if I was in his shoes I would be very grateful. I was in the same boat after my first marrage went south. Not much to report here. My wife is depressed and so is angry with me again. I can't do anything right. I can't argue with her or explain my lack of doing the jobs she complains that I am not because she isn't rational. I feel like running away and hiding because otherwise I am on a state of alert all the time. I'll cook an elaborate meal, do most the washing up from the afternoon and the meal and she says she'll do what's left. Then an hour later, seemingly still fairly sober, rolls her eyes and huffs around shaking her head because I haven't washed those things up. It does my head in. Incredibly, no cravings or even thinking of AL. In fact, I feel grateful for being sober this week. Have has intermittant sleep with back problems (and a few nights of binge-watching a series on Netflix, Suits) and so have woken up feeling pretty tired. During the day I've started to feel really good. That would not happen on a hangover. I rode my bike down to the shops yesterday, something I have not done for at least 3 months. Riding up the hill back home would usually have my legs feeling like lead and my lungs on fire. This time I just motored on up, not slowing. I was breathing heavily when I got home but it felt good. I must be getting fit!
    • Molly78
      Hi @MJM. I wonder why it's so quiet. It's not as though the incidence of alcoholism is going down as far as I know! You would think many more people would be searching for help online & therefore finding their way here or at MWO. It's a puzzle. Impressed that your psych doesn't want you to take ADs! I agree with him entirely. You would be adding a potential poison into a situation that just needs to be resolved. Somehow. Sorry, no good advice to offer about that, except maybe a "trial" separation? See how you feel when you're not dealing with a drunk person on a daily basis? For myself, I have had a miserable summer despite the brilliant weather. One son divorced & came back to live with me, another one in rehab with drug/alcohol problems (now out & doing OK but a lot of trauma along the way), finishing things off nicely with a serious car accident 2 weeks ago, car a write off, insurance company saying I am liable (can't prove the other driver was speeding) all the paperwork & stress that goes along with that kind of event. My alcohol intake crept up, so baclofen now back up to 120 mg daily & starting to stabilise again - only 13 units this week. Keep being told I am lucky to be alive given the force I was hit with, so I guess I am. Only bruises from the airbags. I hope this last few months is all my bad luck coming at once, maybe fate will leave me alone now & piss off & bother someone else. Fingers crossed.
    • MJM
      How is everyone? This forum is very quiet. I went over to have a peek at MYO the other day and it wasn't a whole lot better. I hope people become more involved here. Saw a shrink who thinks I am depressed because of my home situation, and that unless I decide what I am going to do about my wife's drinking (rather than staying in a holding pattern) then I am going to continue to be. He doesn't think anti-depressants will really work until I resolve things in my mind. It's an interesting approach for a psychiatrist. The ones I've seen before are very keep to prescribe ADs. He has prescribed an AD, but actually said he'd prefer that I didn't fill it! Also got an Antibuse script, as a backstop to the Baclofen. I don't know what to do abt home life. It ranges from just accepting my wife drinks and pretend everything is okay to simply asking her to leave and everything in between. It is not an easy thing to work through. I keep wanting to run away from it, deny it's even happening. It's been a stressful week with my wife and also teenage kids, who have had some dramas as well. No cravings though. I have given up on the 16-hour diet. I got up to 2 weeks on it consistantly with about another 2 weeks before that on and off. It doesn't seem to work for me - I'm not losing weight and occasionally end up really tired after lunch, needing a nap. I know that it might work if I go on a low carb diet and do a few other things but I think with everything that's going on that I am not going to make life harder. I'm still getting 3-4 exercise sessions in a week.     
    • Mom2JTx3
      PS.  @StuckinLA, how are things with you?  I was thinking of you as my kids are back in college as of last week.
    • Mom2JTx3
      Hi everyone. It’s interesting what you say about the after affects of AL @MJM.  I found that the longer I took Baclofen, the worse I would feel after drinking even though I was drinking very little and not often.  I eventually got to the point where I could barely function the next day.  Combine that with the delayed kindling and I have all the incentive I need to stay AF!  I hope the Antabuse works well for you both.  That would also be good incentive  
    • MJM
      @Felinathank you for your kind words. My GP has suggested Antibuse too. I'd forgotten about that and it is a good idea. I'm seeing her in about a week. I'll give it a go. I have to go to another city for work today and can still feel the effects of drinking two nights ago! It's not as bad as yesterday where I hardly could do anything but it still really knocks me around now.  The interesting thing is in days leading up to drinking, I'd think about booze in passing, but then think it through - ie remember how terrible you felt last time. And that would be that. So while I might not feel great beforehand to be honest I just don't see the drink coming. It just seems to pop up, I don't seem to be able to read the signs. Antibuse will knock that on the head.
    • Felina
      @MJM, I'm glad you're not beating yourself up. There's no shame in it. Get back on the horse and continue on. So glad to hear that the depression is lifting! I have been trying to reduce my baclofen dosage, but every time I do it I find that I drink more. I just recently found a possible solution: Alldaychemist is having a dirt-cheap sale on antabuse (yes, antabuse): You will need register or log in to read this content - I just started taking it in low doses (125 mg every other day), and find that it dovetails well with baclofen. I don't have any cravings, and I know I can't drink out of boredom, so it's pretty effortless. I plan on experimenting with lowering my bac dosage. If I find myself besieged by cravings, I'll just go back up to my usual bac dose (140 mgs/day). Even if I can't reduce the bac, I might keep taking the antabuse for a while. I love being completely sober. Whenever I do decide to drink (rarely) I feel like shit. And I like having that little extra assurance that keeps me from even considering it. Maybe that would work for you?