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Checking In November

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Ne1

What's new in November? 

It's been forever, I know. And I love you. You know who(m) and what I mean. 

I'm... awash. In booze, sometimes, and without it others.

How many hours, days, month does it take to change the course of life when when's awash in booze, even if you're not drinking it? I dunno. Frustrating. I battled the demon, successfully, before. Why's it so hard now, again, when I know what lies on the other side? On other fronts...

Still trying  to decide whether or not to be married to the man I married. I gotta be honest that the comments I received from y'all back in September about moving out (highly supportive of the decision) have not been lost on me, even though I lasted only 3 days in the Oxford House before I moved back home to comfort, dignity and cleanliness, all of which were lacking in the OH I was in. 

Since then, so much. Mostly good! 

I only briefly perused the October thread. I am both dismayed and alarmed by the French government's decision to limit baclofen. Does anyone know why they made the decision? (I will oblige a certain amount of pharma-conspiracy theorists, but come on. Let's get real about health, too. What and how and who made the decision?) I've had so many experiences with trying to get sober, with medications and without, that I HATE the idea of limiting the opportunities for other people to find contented sobriety. Until we know what the decision was based on, we can't respond. 

Shout out to my peeps, peeps. An embrace for anyone who stumbles by, hope to those that have been lurking, (because it's here!) and love to those that keep it going. 

xx

 

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Felina

Heya lady. Welcome back! I'm sorry the booze still has a hold, but I'm glad you're checking in with us. :75_EmoticonsHDcom:

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StuckinLA

Welcome back, been thinking about you. And everyone, welcome to November. 

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Otter

I had a tooth extracted today.  I came away with a fat lip which, together with the impetigo, made me look, and feel, like I'd been beaten up.  We also seem to have a rat or a big mouse living under our fridge.  I put down a mousetrap at the back of the fridge last night and when we got up this morning the trap was empty, sitting in front of the fridge...no rodent, and no food in it.  The rodents here are very clever.  With five dogs we get a lot of poop in the garden, and a lot of flies. There are lots of lizards, stray cats and and the odd snake..  What with the building on all sides, the dust, ticks, and fierce sun, I have no idea what the cause of this disease is and I've had it now for a couple of months. It's now turned into about 10 boils all over my face.  Our Alsatian had something similar and I picked off a lot of crusty lumps from his hide, so maybe I've got mange!  I'm on antibiotic cream and pills now.  I've decided to start wearing a baseball cap and a scarf over my face...and avoid going to the bank until it heals up.

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Otter
On 11/3/2017 at 3:50 AM, empyr3al said:

@Felina, Sorry, its just under 180 but doubled in a month after my last relapse.  I tested immediately post relapse at around 80 and after 3 weeks of Mirt, Gabap, Camp and Naltrexone I was around the 180...  So its a med.  The mirt is the most likely candidate for the elevation.  Something unique is going on and the pharmacist obviously pulled up the same info I had regarding Mirtazapine.  But in prior extended use of Mirt I had my ALT within reason.  High but not out of testing schema parameters.  Each time after a relapse on AL.  The only thing added is Gabapentin and I was stunned with the last results...  So time to check again.  I did take the resolve to stop Naltrexone when I had that result.  I haven't taken it since though it is in my pillbox daily for emergency.  My GGT (yes, they test for random things everytime which drives me nuts) took its typical nose dive and halved in 3 weeks, while the ALT more than doubled.  Oh I'm at about 6 weeks post last test so who knows where the ALT is now.  Wonder if we should move this to a November Check In?  I haven't checked if there is a thread yet.  Anyways, specialist Wednesday.  I'll get a full req from him as I know he will do a full work up.

I'm at 300mg gabapentin so far today.  See what comes down the path... No I am not prone to seizures so this should be fine to test out if I cut the dose and see if I get a reaction.  I have no signs of anything wrong other than a number on a test.

If its the Mirt, 10% of patients administered it have abnormal results on a liver screening.

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I understand you haven't tried baclofen and you are probably aware that it has side effects...  

I've taken it myself and I know about the side effects but they seem to go away completely after a while.  I only took it for anxiety brought on by what I've previously described on this forum and elsewhere and during all that, I never drank. I stopped drinking completely 16 years ago and only ever drank "too much" about half a dozen times in my life.  Never got into any trouble, just got very hung over. 

 

When I first got hold of baclofen I took 5 mg and all my troubles seemed to melt away to nothing.  I felt liberated from life's anxiety.  It's a weird feeling.  I wasn't hallucinogenic and I could think clearly about things with no concern about anything. I just saw how I would deal with all the stuff that usually swirled around in my head and though, "hey, that's great, no worries".  When it wore off, the worry would come back.  I always had a crushing anxiety in the morning, upon waking, thinking about all the things I had to do  that day, week...  But if I took 10 or 20 mg of baclofen I just dealt with each item in my head in an instant and then my head cleared.  No swirling around. 

The side effects are pretty difficult.   My answer to this is that it's a drug which has to be taken carefully and you have to know how to cope with this. It's difficult to take a drug which is supposed to calm anxiety while still doing all the things which cause you anxiety.  As you do those things, you create more anxiety simply because you are out there "doing things" and that causes more thinking and worrying.  It would be great if this illness were accepted, properly and completely as an illness, and we might see an easier route to recovery.  The big difficulty is that in employment law pretty much everywhere, alcoholism is not an illness for the purposes of getting leave due to ill health or support from the employer, other than being counselled to get counselling.  It's just a vicious circle.  There's no way out except by carrying on in the face of it and eventually losing control of the situation.

It's up to you if you want to try baclofen.   I'm not going to push it on you but it does sound a though you might benefit from it.  I got in on prescription by saying to a UK doctor that I had taken it before for a nervous twitch. She looked it up and made out a prescription without any second thoughts at all. I'll always remember that as my stand-out memory of the baclofen journey because it shows the utter stupidness of all the anti-meds attitudes.  The drug is so benign and harmless that you can get it for a nervous twitch, like restless leg or excessive "fidgeting".  No concerns about side effects at all. But if you provide huge amounts of evidence from trials, learned journal articles, letters from specialists who use it to treat alcoholics, and reports of people who have benefitted from it, your GP will look like you're asking him to bungy jump off a bridge.  It shows the deep mind massaging of the public into thinking that alcoholism is 1. bad and 2. incurable and that anyone who says otherwise is  3. a member of the lunatic fringe.

There is, for me, something about the word "baclofen" which hits a nerve the way other names, like "gabapentin" do not.  I remember someone in response to one of my posts about Arbaclofen joked that they thought I was talking about albacore...   I'm still baffled by the reaction to this drug and it's ability to treat alcoholism and anxiety disorders.

 

 

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empyr3al

In Canada alcoholism is treated a bit different.  You can take sick leave here without being fired and go to government financed rehab if you so choose.  Your income is then supplemented with Employment Insurance sick benefits.  Lots of hoops to jump through but it is possible.  Of course that sets precedent with your employer if there is not an HR department that simply manages privately like in unions.  I have done this a couple times actually.  One more upper class rehab was subsidized by my ex's employer.  Only tactic for meds there was to get you off the valium asap and AL by using Trazadone for sleep.  That was the strategy.  So far as I know Trazadone hasn't been studied that much for AL withdrawal so I don't understand the premise behind that choice.  Seems a blanket drug used here in Canada.  Nothing more pharma wise unless you were there for something other than AL which was then looked more closely at, such as Suboxone for Fentanyl, etc.  Only talk therapy and the eventual fall on your face and your GP prescribing the hottest SNRI, SSRI of the day... YAY to Pristiq (desvenlafaxine), YAY to Trintellix (Brintellix) <-  Definite sarcasm there.

I have 180 of 270 (little less, i used a bunch when I tried titrating upwards months ago and stopped for fear of running out, then filled the script till complete) tabs of 10mg Baclofen if I want to try low dose to take away anxiety but I will never get a switch dose if that's what I want it for.  Cross filling scripts is difficult in Canada for Canadians.

Regarding the Gabapentin, I've taken 300 for the two days instead of 1200.  First day was poor sleep but last night was nice.  I haven't taken any Gabapentin today and I'm fine so it seems to be a lot of fear mongering about it.  I killed off the caffeine to take the constantly ON down a notch and enjoyed a movie last night.  Finally some calm.

The Mirtazapine at 30mg is the one I'm wary of actually.  I'm thinking I can cut that down to 15 and eventually get rid of it using maybe some D3 and other things like maybe 5-HTP instead.  I have to research how the body processes 5-HTP a little further.  If I don't take any Gabap tonight and cannot sleep I will try 5 or 10mg Baclofen instead of the usual preparations for sleep I have used in the past.  Gabapentin will be used again as I don't want what happened last time I tried to cut all meds too quickly to happen.  AL relapse.  So calm and steady and make sure my diet is correct.  We have massive seasonal shifts here so we are heading in the dark dull of winter and seasonal affective disorder.

Albacore eh... Yeah I did notice that when I saw arbaclofen which is amusing as I can see patterning.  Made me chuckle a bit.

Yes, my doctor asked me 3 times if I suffered twitches before I said yes and then he prescribed it (30mg max daily) but would never have done so for AL alone.  Only the govt approved Naltrexone or Campral.  He seems to follow a bit of my specialists lead now that the onus is not entirely on him to take the risks.

 

The rodents, that must be fun.  I'm sure they have evolved that way if they have to evade snakes, etc.  I haven't had issues over my life with mice but I have found nests at places of work, or in large scale kitchen appliances where they have chewed the wiring harnesses, etc.

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Molly78

@Ne1 welcome back!  Sorry to hear the booze still has a hold & that the OH was less than satisfactory on so many counts.

@empyr3al thank you so much for your Oct post on gaba.  I spent a long time reading all your links.  I have been taking gaba at night because it zonks me out & the quetiapine had stopped working to put me to sleep, didn't want to increase it beyond 25 mg because of the problem of coming off it.  Well.  Having read about the probs of coming off gaba I have set to to get off that.  Had got up to 4 x 300 mg taken as one dose at night.  Since I read your links on Thursday night I have reduced to 3 x 300 mg, going down further tonight to 2 x 300 mg, with additional bac if I get any anxiety.  It seems not everyone has a problem coming off gaba, & I guess in some ways it's no worse than coming off bac, which if you want to do it has to be done oh-so-carefully & gradually.  So maybe I'm over-reacting  a bit.  But think I had got a bit laissez faire with the pharmaceuticals, having had such a great success with bac.  Thought I could self- medicate at infinitum.  Guess I might have to just put up with the sleep probs, though that's especially hard in winter with the long dark nights.  Still, I only have to get through one more winter.  I will be finishing work for good next May so being sleepless won't matter too much when I can doze by day.

This forum is such a great resource for info on self treatment!

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empyr3al

@Molly78, no problem.  Today I saw an article on CBC (Canada) that a foundation had declared today "Know your medication day".  I guess it's to combat false or misleading information provided by representatives that don't disclose the risks.  Estimated 10,000 people die each year in Canada because of following doctors instructions on how to take the medication.  Heart arythmia was a death that had they known an ECG would have been called for immediately.  I firmly agree that people should have due diligence in regards to medication.  We can't trust corporate interests.


In regards to the gabapentin.  The first couple days was a little strange and for the last 3 days I haven't taken any gabapentin.  I would say that my taste buds have been off and it seemed like I was eating mushrooms.  I would describe it as a similar feeling to having ODed on nicotine.  I'm definitely moody at times but not that bad.  Sleep is a little unpredictable.  But I've managed to keep doing things but I can sit down and watch tv without being spastic.  Anyways after a couple days things have returned to normal.  Actually afraid to take it as it might throw off the sleep.  I did try 5mg baclofen to try to sleep but that made me feel like I was hallucinating!  I would have liked to have monitored my blood pressure but didn't have a chance.

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Otter
On 11/2/2017 at 4:02 AM, Ne1 said:

What's new in November? 

It's been forever, I know. And I love you. You know who(m) and what I mean. 

I'm... awash. In booze, sometimes, and without it others.

How many hours, days, month does it take to change the course of life when when's awash in booze, even if you're not drinking it? I dunno. Frustrating. I battled the demon, successfully, before. Why's it so hard now, again, when I know what lies on the other side? On other fronts...

Still trying  to decide whether or not to be married to the man I married. I gotta be honest that the comments I received from y'all back in September about moving out (highly supportive of the decision) have not been lost on me, even though I lasted only 3 days in the Oxford House before I moved back home to comfort, dignity and cleanliness, all of which were lacking in the OH I was in. 

Since then, so much. Mostly good! 

I only briefly perused the October thread. I am both dismayed and alarmed by the French government's decision to limit baclofen. Does anyone know why they made the decision? (I will oblige a certain amount of pharma-conspiracy theorists, but come on. Let's get real about health, too. What and how and who made the decision?) I've had so many experiences with trying to get sober, with medications and without, that I HATE the idea of limiting the opportunities for other people to find contented sobriety. Until we know what the decision was based on, we can't respond. 

Shout out to my peeps, peeps. An embrace for anyone who stumbles by, hope to those that have been lurking, (because it's here!) and love to those that keep it going. 

xx

 

Hi Ne,

Welcome back. 

I'm trying to keep up with the French situation.  The ANSM did a survey and learned that some people on HDB were being admitted to hospital and some, I don't know how many, committed suicide.  On that basis they decided to limit dosage across the board.  What is coming across, though, is that the team that did one of the trials, Alpadir, I think, want a marketing authorisation so they can market baclofen.  The talk is that this is now likely but the authorisation will be only up to 80mg a day so that's all people will be able to get by way of prescription.   It does sound like it's a case of medium-sized as opposed to "big" pharma trying to influence things.  I don't know how this is going to pan out. In a way, I would think it may be a good thing that baclofen does get any kind of marketing authorisation somewhere in the world, but it leaves people not being able to get higher dosages on prescription, in France. There's now a law suit planned, I'm told, to challenge the decision.  It's all very confusing and upsetting.  Seems to me like the whole hypocrisy, lack of understanding or concern for patients is playing itself out there.  When I was in Paris at the colloquium a doctor in the audience said that the attitude in France towards alcoholics is very bad, no support from government, no compassion etc etc.  Then a man stood up in the audience, grabbed a microphone and started shouting at Dr. de Beaurepaire and then stormed out.   I couldn't make out what he was going on about except that de Beaurepaire had been criticising another of the trials which did not show results and I assume the man was from that group of doctors/researchers and was saying that de Beaurepaire's results were subjective.  Someone behind tried to explain, saying everything is, to a degree, subjective.  

What's annoying the High Dose supporters is that the ANSM did not give details of exactly who made the decision. There's no name associated with it and they are refusing to release details so it's impossible to say whether this person has a bias or not.  It sounds very suspicious and unethical.  I suppose, in a place like France, which has a legal system which does not really allow for a lot of criticism of government bodies, and being a relatively small country, with not so many doctors involved in this, it's easier to get away with this sort of thing without a lot of criticism. It's been in the press there. My uncle lives in the south of France and he has been following this in the newspapers.  Seems to be fairly big news there.

The thing with a marketing authorisation is that once it's granted, then baclofen can be advertised.  That's why, despite everything Ameisen and any of us have done, baclofen is not advertised on television or in the press.  Once it is authorised, and it is advertised, and a pharma company starts pushing doctors to prescribe it, it becomes legitimate and everyone knows about it. I would have thought this would be a good thing because this would lift the veil on it, people would talk and then the focus would narrow down to dosage.  

We shall see... watch this space, as they say.

Edited by Otter
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Molly78
8 hours ago, Otter said:

It's been in the press there. My uncle lives in the south of France and he has been following this in the newspapers.  Seems to be fairly big news there.

It must be good news that bac is being widely discussed, as you say further down in your post, once word is out & people understand the potential for treatment, then the gates are open & hopefully there will be a stampede towards discussing it & Ameisen's book will be in the forefront of these discussions.  Once people understand the meaning of high dose baclofen, then they aren't going to be satisfied with a measly 80 mg daily!

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SKendall

Welcome back Ne.  I was worried when we hadn't heard from you.  How are you getting along with Ed?

 

Molly 78 I'm with you on tv.  I only do Netflix and Amazon Video.

Hi Felina, how are you keeping.

Stuck, super proud of you, what's this school curriculum and are you still enjoying teaching.

 

Empy, I don't know if I understand you needing gabapentin b/c of liver test or something else.  Because of the pinched nerve it was prescribed to me.  300 and my eyesight was badly affected.  I drew a picture of the November moon - a moon and a half, lol, that is how blurred my vision was.

1200 is a pretty hefty dose since is becoming a very abused drug.

Otter, you've had a really tough go of it and held the marriage together and saved your son.

I've had a rash of bad luck and someone said it was karma but I never did bad things to people.

My DD lost her mind.  This is my 1st t/giving in TX and I called DD to see what the plans were,  T/giving at hubby's aunts and Xmas at hubby's parents. I told her that pretty much left me on my own and she had a hissy and told me any further emails would go in trash.  Part of that was guilt, but she is having terrible mood swings.

Next up: step sons won't give me any access to bank and he paid my ins. and that was cancelled.  Even if I wasn't in the will I think legally money goes 50% to kids and 50% to me.  Jr. is a lawyer and has hired another lawyer to deal with it.  It's not as if we are talking big $$$.  He cancelled his life ins. 10 yrs. ago but there is about 200K in his bank acct., and son is the most passive aggressive person I know.

Next came the floods. Woke up and was ankle deep in water.  2nd time was this week and office took 3 hrs. to respond and then accused me of flushing stuff down the toilet.  Uh, no.  sometimes when you flush, the bowl refills and doesn't stop.  The 1st time I had gone back to sleep and 2nd time I was at the dog park.  I thought it was fixed 1st time.  Now my bedroom carpet is mildewed.

My new car battery won't hold a charge and has left me vulnerable.  On some hondas the relay switch from a.c. doesn't turn off so that is what drains the battery.  Have to go get it fixed.

Lost my car keys - $347.00 for new one.  I've also become very disorganized and can't clean properly (damaged nerve in back).  I don't function in chaos and that's what it is.  Cleaning crew comes next week.  Going to get a new haircut and paint the walls eggnog colour and a mango accent wall.  That should cheer me up!  Dark, gloomy weather is my downfall and after 2 days of it, bought an electric fireplace.  In TX not as much rain as in WA state, but still bugs me.

I think I've missed something.

Going to look for Baclofeman

 

 

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MJM

I'm glad to see you back, @Ne1. I was worried too. I get where you're coming from with Ed. I'm in a similar situation. I love my wife so much yet when she's drinking I sometimes want to grab the kids and run. Such a terrible thing to say. 

I am not really up to it at the moment, but I wonder if I should be looking at Gaba etc, mentioned above in the near future. 

Depression seems to be a bit of a problem for me. I have tried Mirtazapine (1 week at 15mg, 1 week at 30mg and then one week titrating off it at 15mg) and all it did was make me clench my jaw when sleeping... and make me very sleepy from mid-afternoon most days. I would be fast asleep by 9pm most days. I know I didn't give it long enough but I couldn't handle the SEs. Ate too much too, and I was fat to start with.

I have been on my recumbent exercise bike every two days in the last week for 30min a session, doing 30 sec flat-out intervals every 10 min of the 30 or so I'm on the bike. That seems to help a bit. My weight is dropping. Thanks to nicotine, I don't eat a lot either.

I'm drinking tonight, but it is an exception. As in I'm not drinking every night like i used to. Thank god for Baclofen.

I'm smoking again after a month break when overseas last month. Been fantasizing about getting cancer. As in it would be a good thing, because while the end would be painful, at least there would be an end. It feels selfish, and especially for my children. I want to be around longer for them, to be there for them. But for me? Meh, I'm over it.

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empyr3al

Waiting on this show!  You will need register or log in to read this content

Wait until December but it should be good.

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Molly78

@empyr3al I can't wait to see it - I love subtitles!  Not sure why, something about total immersion in another culture which dubbing just doesn't give you.  The Killing, Wallander (the Swedish one, not Kenneth Branagh), the new Spanish thriller on BBC, all totally addictive.

@SKendall what a catalogue of disasters! What does DD stand for?

On 11/11/2017 at 2:18 AM, SKendall said:

Even if I wasn't in the will I think legally money goes 50% to kids and 50% to me.

That doesn't apply in the UK if you're not mentioned in the will AFAIK.  But best of luck with your challenge.

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empyr3al

From October.  Tv.  I finished the stranger things binge watch!!!.  Wow at 40 I grew up in the early 80s and pre home computers and owned 2 Pontiac Firebirds. One had a 455cid w/ 4 speed blacked out.  Abused the tech down the line but oh well.  I was an intellectual teen.  The music is mind blowing but I am missing one reference nearly the end of season final 2.  Time after Time blows my mind. Cyndi Lauper. Love is a battlefield, Pat benetar.  Holy crap.... 80s was cool back when I was 25 to 30.  This is so creepy because it's a ton of my childhood.  I know every car my father ever owned.  Weird.  I know all of the music.  Sting? 


Born in the media generation so I'm not anything.  I'm not gen x or a millenial.  I'm cusp.  Computers and tech knowledge.  How is it that I remember everything from childhood?!!?  I thought alcohol made you stupid? 

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empyr3al

It's so creepy.  My first love at 16.  Every move you make, every breath you take...  Where is Corey Hart....  Where are my sunglasses at night?  I guess raving came from the music.  Happy hardcore changed my life years later.

 

I wish I had that prep talk by a pretty girl.  I'm not ugly... I am just different.  I see you   thanks for the stranger things advice.

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Molly78

I love 80s music as well - used to play it on a loop on the school run with my 3 boys.  I have Time after Time, Eternal Flame, We built this city, Walking on Broken Glass & lots more 80s tunes on my playlist which I listen to in the car all the time. (Some of those might not be 80s, but they're all from a past era)

The 80s were such an innocent time.  I love to watch events unfolding without mobile phones & the internet interfering.  For this reason I also loved Mindhunters on Netflix - the FBI in the 70s, all big collars & continuous cigarette smoking!

I listen to Smooth radio as well, a UK Global station firmly rooted in the past.

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empyr3al

If you really want to hear what I used to listen too.  @Molly78 You will need register or log in to read this content its called Happy Hardcore.  I named it dreams because I'm a person that remembers everything from childhood.  Everything is at the flick of a couple predictive keys now.  Its strange to accept this music and abrasive when i declared it life changing. Much of my appreciation of 80s music came from remixes and records.

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I will start mindhunters next. Happy hardcore changed my world in a weird way.  Something about "I love you" changed how I think of people and things.

 

This was the E (ecstasy) culture in Toronto.  Something you probably have never seen in your life.

Edited by empyr3al

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Molly78

Umm OK @empyr3al well I guess our tastes aren't that close after all!  I did enjoy some of my son's Club Ibiza & Judge Jules, but the E culture definitely passed us all by.......

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empyr3al

Yeah, Canadians take hardcore over the top.  Rights for all people. Did we miss anyone?????

Yeah HHC (happy hard core) pretty much did it all in.  Ecstasy was a wonderful drug and by no means am I against it.  It will change you forever.  IBEtha (as its pronounced) and the judge I remember Molly.

Regarding tastes.  They never have to be the same.  Thats what makes all of this astonishing.

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SKendall

Molly, Dear Daughter.

Ne, I'm thinking of you and wish you sobriety.  Please don't get comfortable with alcohol again because that is a never-ending trap with only negative results.

As mentioned I lost my car keys, had another one cut (342.00} and shortly after my battery started draining.

I maxed out my roadside assistance so when it died again I had it towed to Goodyear. They told me the new key wasn't cut properly and that's what caused it.  New battery and new key another $350.00.  I went back to locksmith and he told me it was impossible to have a key to battery issue.

New battery in Sept. $120.00, $80.00 for tow, $359.00.  So who is playing me gentlemen?  Goodyear?

 

 

 

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StuckinLA

Ouch, @SKendall! What a pain! Hope things sort out and your luck turns around soon.

I'm teaching a couple literature courses at one university, and really enjoying them, and one writing class at another university that isn't fun at all. After Xmas that will flip, and I'll be teaching one literature course and two writing courses. Since all three classes are different and I've never done any of them before, it's a lot of work. That's OK, though, and I should get the hang of things by next term. Overall, things are good. Not great, and not getting rich, but between the two schools I haven't taken a pay cut from last year.

 

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SKendall

Empy, can you elaborate?  I need to take proof to the locksmith.

Stuck, nice to hear from you.  I'm glad it's changed up.  You will be more challenged and course more interesting.  Yes, I'm about at the okay level, not great and not rich, lol.

Take care my friend.  Are any publications in the works?

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StuckinLA

OK is a good level to be. I believe that more and more these days, even though when I was drinking I really resisted that idea, mostly from AA, that all right and even keel were the goal. And sometimes I miss the ups that come with the downs, but overall things are much better now than they were, by miles. Glad you're all right aside from the string of crappy luck.

No publications in the immediate works, unfortunately. But I am giving a paper at a fairly big conference next April, and it was exciting to hear my proposal had been accepted. It's on F. Scott Fitzgerald, based a little on stuff from one of the classes I'm teaching right now and a little on a review I'd written of the Amazon TV adaptation of The Last Tycoon. Still waiting to hear on another paper proposal for a medieval conference. 

Guess I am publishing a wee bit in the news and journalism area, kind of a local grassroots thing. I bounce between loving it and feeling its important to hating it as a distraction from other work, but overall its good. Can't say too much about it here, since it's all online and I'd rather not compromise my anonymity on the forum. 

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SKendall

The Last Tycoon was a very enjoyable series.

My expectations in life have been reduced.  When I see people saying "I just want you to be happy", that is subjective and elusive.  Step-sons are doing everything they can to keep the money.  When husband was having the affair we got into an argument and he told me to change my will as he had changed his.  However, he cannot exclude me totally as we were still married.  He cancelled life ins. etc. so there is probably about $240K left.   Most states give the wife 50% and the rest to kids.  We were married in Toronto, CAN and he died in MI. USA. They have a lawyer working on it.  Pfft!  They are both wealthy, so I hope he left it to grandkids.

It seemed important for me to leave as much money as possible to my 2 kids.  My son who is a sommelier in Vancouver, B.C. unfriended me and his sister 4 yrs ago and won't talk to us.  He got into some trouble in TX years ago and on a green card status they look at crimes more severely.  The kid who did the deed called my a.machine and apologized and said my son was not involved, i.e. he stole his neighbour's golf clubs.  He went to The Galapagos and on his return did a criminal background check.  Eventually ICE caught up with him and he was deported back to Canada where he knew no-one.  It was a very difficult time.  I think when he met a new girl from France, he just simply re-created himself because he had shame.  Anyway, that's him.  A while ago my husband stopped my support and my electricity was turned off.  He immediately sent me $500.00., so he still cares for me!  I'm heartbroken but coping.

My daughter is complex and I was full time carer for my g/daughter when she was born.  We bonded like glue, she is now 8 and her mother is a PITA and resents my relationship with her, oh well.  A long way of saying I'm going to blow any money I get from the estate and enjoy it.  Of course I will leave money to g/daughter.

Damned kids, lol.  I really want to go to Turkey.  Later.

 

 

 

 

 

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SKendall

Empy that long reply was in reply to stuck.  I just wanted to know from you info regarding key to battery issues.

Thank you.

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empyr3al

I will get more into it later.  If you are brave.  E / MDMA will change everything you know.  We have little to no racism, sexism... its kind of a strange place.

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