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StuckinLA

Checking In - July 2018

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StuckinLA

Well, looks like the site's back up after a couple days. So, happy July everybody! How are we?

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Felina

Happy July, @StuckinLA! I'm doing well. Glad the Fourth of July is behind us. My dogs become absolutely terrorized during fireworks season. I spend the entire time comforting them. Sigh.

Good to see the site back up again. What's the news on your job situation?

My new-ish (two years) job is going really well. I am at an agency where I feel appreciated. The work is challenging and sometimes exhausting, but otherwise no complaints. 

Still on 140 mgs/day of baclofen, and I've resigned myself to the fact that I will probably be on that dosage for the rest of my life.

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Mom2JTx3

Hello all!  Just back from a beach vacation.  Had a lovely time.  Still hanging in there with 60mg of Baclofen.  I’m glad to see the site back up.

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Molly78

Hi everyone - I thought the site had finally crashed! Still no word from Ne, then.

Having got down to 80 mg bac I have experienced a series of family disasters which have left me stressed & anxious - & therefore liable to drink. Have gone back up to 150 mg currently. Likely to stay there or maybe keep going up. Depends what happens.

I have one son moved back in with me following his divorce. He has now found his own property & is slowly moving in. The ending of the marriage was hard for him (& me!) but I think he can now see that he is rid of a poisonous relationship & he has established regular contact already with his 4 children which is going well.

My youngest son has severe issues with alcohol, drugs & marital breakdown. He is currently in The Priory, North London. There is a saying that as a mother you are only ever as happy as your most unhappy child. Which puts my happiness levels at rock bottom right now. I don't feel I can discuss his issues online - he might want to use this website one day after all. In fact I hope he will as that would indicate progress which is not happening at the moment. Bucketloads of guilt here. He has inherited these problems from me & as parents we were hardly good role models when it came to alcohol.

Meanwhile, the UK has a heatwave, which is what I hoped for during my first summer of retirement. The evolving issues with my sons have prevented me from full enjoyment of it. Or of anything at the moment. Thank God for bac.

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Reggie

Hello been a while happy chappy here just wanted to make sure NE is ok im missing you darling 

Please please as the beatles song goes let us know you are ok :?

Good to see you molly 

And stuck you are buff sober (wonder what that looks like) 

Off to count my blessings 

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Nicnak

Hi all

sorry to hear about your son Molly.Its always something I’m looking for in my eldest and although he’s only 22 I worry he will inherit my and his dads alcohol problems.

As some will know I gave up bac after multiple tries.The last time due to the ongoing constipation problem and nearly having an accident after falling asleep momentarily at the wheel.I started TSM 10 weeks ago and decided that I had to diet before my holiday in sept so vowed to go AF.Didnt have much faith that I could do it because the cravings were still quite strong(drinking about 1.5 bottles of wine a day).

well I’m now into my 7th day AF and have hardly any cravings.I do think naltrexone is working for me,fingers crossed 

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Reggie

For Ne I know you love prince :)

 

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Felina

Oh my goodness @Molly78 I am so sorry about your son. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself with the increased bac. I imagine it would be too easy to drink away your troubles. Self-care is so important! I hope your son can find some relief soon.

Congrats on the AF time, @Nicnak. Glad to hear that the Nal is working for you.

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Molly78

Yes, congrats to @Nicnak

Just heard my son has discharged himself from the Priory as he was "fed up with the 12 steps bollocks". He has a script from his GP for naltrexone & has read up on TSM so fingers crossed. He had a go before he went to the Priory but Like a lot of people he thought it meant he could push his drinking to the limit & somehow be miraculously cured. As I think @BarrelChested has said - medication helps you to help yourself but it won't work if you're not working with it.

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StuckinLA

Logged on just now, and so happy to see all this activity!

@Nicnak  it's nice to hear that things seem on an upswing, and congrats on your week! You know the first days and weeks are the toughest, but 7 days is a big deal and I'm glad you're not oppressed by cravings. @Molly78 your son sounds like he's in a tough place. I remember when bac (or in his case, nal) promised to be a miracle cure and at the same time permission to go all out and drink as much as I could. Beginning to think even that may be part of the long, ongoing process. Hope he finds his way. And here's to you, and your concern. Genetic dispositions are a b*tch but try not to carry too much guilt for it - no one ever makes anyone else drink.

@Felina you are rockin' it these days. Awesome about your job, the challenging and rewarding part. And @Reggie! Good to see you, brother. Hope you're doing well. Would be great to hear from Ne, last I heard she's still alive but that's all I know. Miss her and worry about her.

Sober is till going ok more or less for me, just the way things are. Still counting the months when the 8th rolls around, which is today, which is 19 months. Went to a wedding yesterday, and that was fine. I still think about drinking almost every day, but not exactly cravings. It's been so, so hot here the last couple days and I remembered the misery of sweltering hot days when I was in the depths of booze, how much it sucked to be sweaty and lethargic and still needing to pour buckets of liquor into myself. Man, glad it doesn't have to be like that today.

To deal with stress I've been getting high every night for the last few weeks - since school ended, really. Sometimes a little earlier than "night," but I hate being high during the day. I've cancelled all the ways I watch TV - Netflix has been gone for a while, Amazon Prime ends today (after catching up on Game of Thrones :D), so the options for getting high and vegging out to TV will be extremely limited. That's the point.

The job situation is pretty dire - the job I thought I had a real good shot at turned me down on Friday, and now I'm not sure about the chances to stay in LA. Something is bound to work out, I know, but the waiting and the stress and the distraction of it all is really messing with me this year. Haven't worked much at all on my writing - the only thing that truly matters. I have all this time, but find it near impossible to do any sustained work. It's a daily struggle, one that I hope will improve without the escape of wallowing in front of the television. That's about it here, hope y'all are having a good one.

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phoenix

Hi there

I'm just popping by, it's coming up to my 5 years AF date. For anyone who doesn't know I did TSM for almost 2 years which got my intake right down, before I decided it was time to quit totally. Not had a single drop since 21st July 2013. In that time I've gone back to uni, done a post grad to qualify as a psychotherapist, decided to take further specialist training in eating disorders and obesity. It's not uncommon for EDs and food issues to go hand in hand with addiction/substance abuse - which I know through my own experience (and suffering). Now hoping I can offer the sort of help I didn't receive.

 

I've also been able to do very well in the sport I wanted to be involved with, and very interested/involved with various alternative health practices - yoga, cold water therapy, various other things I use to help reduce anxiety and handle stress.

Edited by phoenix
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MJM

Hello all,

It's great to see so much activity here after such a quiet period. Long may it continue!

I have not been doing so well. I wish that I could manage to pull myself out of the loop of alcoholism, but it seems I cannot.

I have been on a busman's holiday for 3 weeks. I have driven about 6500km in that time, half of that distance and most of that time with my family in the Red Centre of Australia.

Bittersweet memories of that time... the key thing is that the drinking has returned. Every few days. God, it's so damn boring. 

It is linked to my depression, I think. I have been flat for ages and will organise a medication review with a psychiatrist asap. I will have to go back on meds, because exercise, meditation and fresh air isn't doing it. Any suggestions on what else I can try before I hit the anti-depressants again?

At least I'm not smoking. Maybe I should start again, just to mix it up a little. For fuck's sake. What a mess.

I have thought about increasing Bac from the current 75mg am and 75 pm to 75mg am, 25mg 3pm and 50mg pm (bedtime) or just bump up the daily dose. Of couse, Baclofen is like taking cod liver oil these days - like, no GPs around here have any idea how to treat people like me.

There are other problems, like my wife's drinking and mental state. I don't know what to do there.

I aso realised I don't have any friends. None. Is that normal? Like, the only people who I really talk to are you, here on a vulnerable piece of coding. 

Here's a pic I took of whan camping near Ularu (Ayers Rock) a few weeks ago. Enjoy.

IMG_7080.JPG

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Nicnak

Beautiful picture MJM

sorry to hear you are so down and hope you find some sort of solution soon.

Im still on the naltrexone route,after 3 months in it I had 2 weeks alcohol free and now have been drinking once or twice a week.I still drink to much on those occasions but in between I have hardly any cravings,unheard of for me to go days without alcohol for quite a few years.Still taking the pill one hour before drinking and I truly believe this is working

I know you’ve got enough in your plate but have you thought about trying TSM?

 

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Nicnak

Hi Phoenix  

I definetly think naltrexone works with other addictions,since being on it my I’ve had no trouble dieting although that could be the lack of wine ?

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StuckinLA

Gorgeous picture, @MJM. Sorry about the drinking.

Well, as July winds down to a close, things are still things here. No definite job but several interviews lined up, and a pretty decent line on some fall classes at one of the schools I worked at last year. I've gone from abject panic to simmering annoyance. Otherwise everything just feels slow and unproductive and distracted.

Kind of a lame update, but it's what I got.

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