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MJM

Checking In - August 2018

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MJM

Very quiet around here... I hope everyone is okay.

I think I've been sober for about a month. My depression is lifting - life seems a lot less dark than it did. A major change is my concentration has improved. I can't believe how much I missed, it was like a had blackouts all the time - when sober. 

Bac is doing its job - 150mg a day, no cravings.

Seeing a shrink, who might put me on ADs but for now thinks my depression might be because of circumstances.

Those circumstances seem to be changing, so that helps.

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MJM

How strange. I drank last night. We had people over, and I had whisperings of cravings in the afternoon and I wondered about taking some of my evening Bac dose early. I had been feeling down, thinking about my Mum (who died 3 yrs ago). I got on my exercise bike for 35min and felt much better so I am a bit taken aback by this.

I didn't drink a lot - perhaps a bottle of wine, if that. I really feel the effects today though.

Clearly the Bac alone isn't working. Yes, it's doing a fantastic job of warding off cravings most of the time, but that isn't enough for me. For me it's abstinance. That's what I want.

I won't give myself a hard time about this, I want to look forward not back. My GP suggested that I go to an outpatient support group (not AA) and I'm thinking I might take her up on the idea.

My wife's drinking is not good. She said a few odd things last night. It's no wonder we don't have company all that much anymore.

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MJM

@Felinathank you for your kind words. I'd forgotten about that and it is a good idea. I'm seeing her in about a week. I'll give it a go.

I have to go to another city for work today and can still feel the effects of drinking two nights ago! It's not as bad as yesterday where I hardly could do anything but it still really knocks me around now. 

The interesting thing is in days leading up to drinking, I'd think about booze in passing, but then think it through - ie remember how terrible you felt last time. And that would be that. So while I might not feel great beforehand to be honest I just don't see the drink coming. It just seems to pop up, I don't seem to be able to read the signs. Antibuse will knock that on the head.

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Mom2JTx3

Hi everyone. It’s interesting what you say about the after affects of AL @MJM.  I found that the longer I took Baclofen, the worse I would feel after drinking even though I was drinking very little and not often.  I eventually got to the point where I could barely function the next day.  Combine that with the delayed kindling and I have all the incentive I need to stay AF!  I hope the Antabuse works well for you both.  That would also be good incentive :) 

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Mom2JTx3

PS.  @StuckinLA, how are things with you?  I was thinking of you as my kids are back in college as of last week.

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