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MJM

Checking in - September 2018

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MJM

How is everyone? This forum is very quiet. I went over to have a peek at MYO the other day and it wasn't a whole lot better. I hope people become more involved here.

Saw a shrink who thinks I am depressed because of my home situation, and that unless I decide what I am going to do about my wife's drinking (rather than staying in a holding pattern) then I am going to continue to be. He doesn't think anti-depressants will really work until I resolve things in my mind. It's an interesting approach for a psychiatrist. The ones I've seen before are very keep to prescribe ADs. He has prescribed an AD, but actually said he'd prefer that I didn't fill it! Also got an Antibuse script, as a backstop to the Baclofen.

I don't know what to do abt home life. It ranges from just accepting my wife drinks and pretend everything is okay to simply asking her to leave and everything in between. It is not an easy thing to work through. I keep wanting to run away from it, deny it's even happening.

It's been a stressful week with my wife and also teenage kids, who have had some dramas as well. No cravings though.

I have given up on the 16-hour diet. I got up to 2 weeks on it consistantly with about another 2 weeks before that on and off. It doesn't seem to work for me - I'm not losing weight and occasionally end up really tired after lunch, needing a nap. I know that it might work if I go on a low carb diet and do a few other things but I think with everything that's going on that I am not going to make life harder. I'm still getting 3-4 exercise sessions in a week. 

 

 

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Molly78

Hi @MJM. I wonder why it's so quiet. It's not as though the incidence of alcoholism is going down as far as I know! You would think many more people would be searching for help online & therefore finding their way here or at MWO. It's a puzzle.

Impressed that your psych doesn't want you to take ADs! I agree with him entirely. You would be adding a potential poison into a situation that just needs to be resolved. Somehow. Sorry, no good advice to offer about that, except maybe a "trial" separation? See how you feel when you're not dealing with a drunk person on a daily basis?

For myself, I have had a miserable summer despite the brilliant weather. One son divorced & came back to live with me, another one in rehab with drug/alcohol problems (now out & doing OK but a lot of trauma along the way), finishing things off nicely with a serious car accident 2 weeks ago, car a write off, insurance company saying I am liable (can't prove the other driver was speeding) all the paperwork & stress that goes along with that kind of event. My alcohol intake crept up, so baclofen now back up to 120 mg daily & starting to stabilise again - only 13 units this week. Keep being told I am lucky to be alive given the force I was hit with, so I guess I am. Only bruises from the airbags. I hope this last few months is all my bad luck coming at once, maybe fate will leave me alone now & piss off & bother someone else. Fingers crossed.

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MJM

@Molly78 That is terrible re the car crash but it sounds like it was a big one - I'm glad that you are okay... you very easily might not have been. It's a good thing that your son is facing his addiction. Many don't. And good on you for giving your other son a home after his divorce. Depending on how you view having adult children living with you, it could be great... or not so much! I know if I was in his shoes I would be very grateful. I was in the same boat after my first marrage went south.

Not much to report here. My wife is depressed and so is angry with me again. I can't do anything right. I can't argue with her or explain my lack of doing the jobs she complains that I am not because she isn't rational. I feel like running away and hiding because otherwise I am on a state of alert all the time. I'll cook an elaborate meal, do most the washing up from the afternoon and the meal and she says she'll do what's left. Then an hour later, seemingly still fairly sober, rolls her eyes and huffs around shaking her head because I haven't washed those things up. It does my head in.

Incredibly, no cravings or even thinking of AL. In fact, I feel grateful for being sober this week. Have has intermittant sleep with back problems (and a few nights of binge-watching a series on Netflix, Suits) and so have woken up feeling pretty tired. During the day I've started to feel really good. That would not happen on a hangover.

I rode my bike down to the shops yesterday, something I have not done for at least 3 months. Riding up the hill back home would usually have my legs feeling like lead and my lungs on fire. This time I just motored on up, not slowing. I was breathing heavily when I got home but it felt good. I must be getting fit!

Edited by MJM
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