Jump to content
The End of my Addiction

How I became me

Recommended Posts


As the first term of the second year progressed I went out more, drank more, tried to keep up my training but struggled to keep my weight down. I told some flat mates who I'd had no previous connection that I was bulimic, and they really played on this. They also tried to lay down some rules which as a boyfriend of mine pointed out, were singling me out. I also had an affair or two, and my performance in athletics started to nose dive. I fell behind in my studies, my boyfriend had a relapse of some psychotic type episodes, I had some drunken really wierd moments, and one day I realised I felt like life was a black and white film being shown on a screen. I went to the Drs and asked for help. I was diagnosed with clinical depression, given Prozac, offered emergency counselling, and a regular appointment with a Psychiatric Nurse (CPN). I think I'd actually accessed something like this in the first year when my bulimia became really bad. I felt so alone even living on a busy campus, in the second year I was in uni accomodation in the city itself.

I started to drink more and more, going out was more frequent, the confused times, I had a couple of 6 week relationships. Then sober, washing up one morning I injured my hand badly on a glass which broke whilst cleaning it. Hospital and an operation to stitch a severed tendon together meant I couldn't sit my second year exams. I applied for a year out, to come back where things really took a dive, and it was granted. I went to live with my mum back in my home town, took a couple of different jobs and the going out several times a week continued. If you asked me I'd have told you that I drank around 50 UK units per week. In my first year at uni I could manage 10 UK units in one night, once or twice a week. By the second year I was drinking 15 units (about 6-7 pints of cider or a bottle of wine + couple of extra glasses) each time I went out. Still not really drinking at home although in a previous post when I described trying to use rapid consumption of alcohol as an ematic, that was done at home.

Edited by phoenix
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...