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The End of my Addiction

Wide Awake at 3 AM


StuckinLA
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Hey everybody:

Decided to start a thread for people to hang out and chat when they can't sleep. That middle-of-the-night wakeup is the worst, at least for me. And I haven't been able to stay asleep solid through a night in a long time. Been seeing a lot of posts on other threads from people in the wee hours, so I figured if we could put all those posts in one place it would be easier to find one another before heading back to bed and trying again, yet again to fall asleep staring at that dark ceiling.

And also, here's some music to get us started. Max Richter has an 8-hour piece designed to help lull you to sleep, and Moby recently released a 4-hour set for sleep, meditation, and/or yoga. It's all free:

http://www.openculture.com/2016/06/moby-lets-you-download-4-hours-of-ambient-music-to-help-you-sleep.html

http://www.openculture.com/2015/10/music-to-put-you-to-sleep.html

Good night ;)

 

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Night Night Stuckers old bean

Its 2.30 in the afternoon on a glorious Thursday afternoon - I was supposed to be at Cricket today but I had some urgent stuff to sort out, so I am at home now, in the sun - Coffee and cigarette in hand watching it on the TV

Happy days

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Watching my girl sleep reminds me of how lovely it is to fall asleep and stay asleep. For me it's mostly an hour or two at a time at best right now. 5:30 in the morning, and she just got up to head home, she's going to take a nap and get ready for work. A nap. How on this great earth does anyone just simply fall back asleep after waking up? 

I'm up, been up for a couple hours. A bottle of wine and the cats running around chasing some toy or another. It's going to be a long day, and my first stop is almost certainly going to be the liquor store.

Today's Tuesday. Washington DC primary. And is today the day we get sold out? I'm signing up all over the freaking internet to volunteer with various groups. Civil disobedience, that kind of thing. And writing fiercely in my journal. I think I only want to fill these pages so I can go out and justify buying a new journal ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Today was a pretty great day. Got some writing done this morning. Then several minor but actually pleasant errands - pleasant if only to be out of the house and moving around for a while. Finished a book I started last night, read another chapter in a library book that's been sitting around here for a week. Went out to a nice dinner with my girl, followed by a walk around the lake in my neighborhood, surrounded by joggers and street vendors and families and one girl with a very very very upset cat on a leash. Got home, turned the TV on for a bit - I have a digital antenna that hardly ever gets used, but I decided what the heck, so I watched a telenovela and got really into it. No, I don't speak Spanish. But I was trying to figure out what they were saying, and I'm definitely watching the next episode tomorrow night.

Then I got completely lost in this other book that I'd put down a while back - Larry Brown, love him. Until my buddy texts me, saying he really needs to talk. 

Guess he's been on a downward spiral the last several days (weeks?) Haven't talked to him much - only once - since Memorial Day, but he says our mutual friends might be planning an intervention on him. He doesn't want to end up in an institution, but he is throwing the S-word around again. Though he cries that particular wolf a lot. Still, he seems really down and he even asked me to call to check up on him the next while, as he gets his meds sorted out. Sure, he has an appointment with his pdoc in the morning, and I told him to come here after. Even said I could pack an overnight bag while on the phone with him at 1am and be there in 20 minutes to spend the night, if he wanted.

Not sleeping well tonight, the usual kind of panic but on the more severe end of normal for me. This last one that got me up and online now was a doozy. 

But I'm sober again. 2 days, almost no cravings. I'd take more gabapentin right now to sleep, but already at I think 2400mg for today - bouncing between 1800 and 2400, which is why the few cravings and minimal withdrawal, thank all that is holy.

Looking forward to getting back to sleep, and looking forward to getting my friend some help. Maybe eventually some help for me, too, but that's a whole different story.

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10 hours ago, StuckinLA said:

But I'm sober again. 2 days, almost no cravings. I'd take more gabapentin right now to sleep, but already at I think 2400mg for today - bouncing between 1800 and 2400, which is why the few cravings and minimal withdrawal, thank all that is holy.

Looking forward to getting back to sleep, and looking forward to getting my friend some help. Maybe eventually some help for me, too, but that's a whole different story.

Yay, Stuck! That all sounds really good and fun. I think I read in the gabapentin stuff, that 2400 was the top limit. Have you looked at the info on here? If it's not there, I'll look it up for you. 

Hope you got back to sleep and woke up comfortable. 

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On June 23, 2016 at 3:19 PM, Ne1 said:

I think I read in the gabapentin stuff, that 2400 was the top limit.

Yeah and baclofen is 80 per the FDA so who cares what they say.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So I don't have the easiest time sleeping to begin with, and tonight at 2am or thereabouts some professional-grade fireworks went off right outside my bedroom window. Sent the cats scrambling for shelter and woke me the f**k up. Can't get back to sleep. Ate a bagel. Took some gabapentin. Slamming a beer.

Well, great start to a Thursday if you believe Thursday should start at 2am.

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