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The End of my Addiction

How not to die, a.k.a. the training thread


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The reason I haven't started this thread yet is because I have yet to start any form of training. Although I finished the hike last weekend, my right knee still creaks and pops every time I demand the slightest use from it, and my left ankle is feak and weeble from nearly tumbling down the side of a mountain. That said, given the precarious state of my health as regards running, and the ever-nearing date of 10th December, I feel that I had better get this show on the road, creaks and groans included, if I am to have any hope of finishing the race.

 

The biggest impediment I face (apart from chronic unfitness) is that I absolutely cannot bear running. It bores me to tears, and I feel sick afterwards, sometimes for days. If I have to run more than 50 meters, it gets even worse. This race (I don't think I'll call it a race. I'm not aiming to win, I just want to complete the thing, and probably destroy my love of hiking in the process) is 52km's, which doesn't sound that bad, although I wouldn't drive to a restaurant that far away for a good dinner. The major issue is the altitude, and the fact that it constantly changes, often abruptly. I'll see if I can dig out some info.

 

Last year 36 people started the race, and 12 finished, and I presume that most of them were fit to start with, this not being the usual hunting ground of the typical couch potato. The way I see it, I have 5 months to go from next Monday (because who starts training in the middle of the week?). I plan to do weights 3 times a week, and then on the weekend go out to some local mountains and run up and down them as fast as possible for as long as possible. The mountain I have in mind is a pretty decent substitute for the real thing, only much smaller, and I figure if I can run up and down it 10 times in a day, and still have some daylight left, then I'll be good to go come D-Day. At least this way I won't just be running around the block with the same dull views for weeks on end.

 

I foresee much vomiting in my future.

 

If anyone has any tips, tricks, and especially cheats/and or shortcuts, don't be shy.

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I was thinking that I would train along with you--for a 5k or something--but we don't have races in the middle of (our) winter. Never the less, I'm with you on working out, anyway. 

What on earth made you choose this challenge that only a third of the entrants completed? 

I agree about running. It is so incredibly boring to walk around the neighborhood over and over and over again. Ugh. Good plan about the mountain. But 10x/day? How far is it? Despite your claim to lack of fitness, I know you're outdoorsy and whatnot. 

Sadly, I don't think there are any shortcuts. Such a bummer. 

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I'm not sure why you want to do this thing given how much you hate running!

I'm not remotely fit enough to run even a few K, but I do go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. Plugged into my IPhone and listening to podcasts (the BBC do some great ones), the time flies by. I also own a bike and when the weather is decent I do ten or twelve miles on that. I suppose training to run actually requires some running, but these two activities keep the flab at bay for me..to some extent anyway.

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I actually understand wanting to be able to run a looooong distance, just to do it and say I've done it. When I was fit before, mostly from lifting, I was tempted to start running and try a marathon. Honestly, though, I like my knees and ankles, and muscles and tendons, where they are, and don't want any new ones. (Knee surgery has a long way to go until it's actually pain-free and easy to do, the way hip surgery is.) 

I have enough aches and pains to remind me that I'm old-er! But I would like to do some sort of contest, just to push myself to increase time and distance. There's a lot to be said for running shorter distances to keep decrepitude from sneaking up on you! 

But in order to truly understand bleep, @Mentium, you'd have to know him. In my (albeit, limited) experience, he doesn't do anything halfway. It's all or nothing! 

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Yegads. Yesterday I took my theoretical, but very well defined hatred of running out of the realm of theory, and I'm very pleased to report that I was entirely accurate - it's a dreadful sport with no redeeming qualities that I have discovered yet. Unless vomiting is considered redeeming? I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew here. I went with a significantly fitter friend, and while it was discouraging watching him get steadily smaller in the distance, it was even more discouraging watching him get steadily bigger as he came around to lap me, and even he is worried that we have both seriously misunderstood what's involved in this whole horrendous exercise. I've also discovered that after a lifetime of very successfully avoiding running in any and all forms, when I try and do it, it is the most unnatural and ungraceful feeling. It seems to take much more energy than walking fast, and covers less ground, whilst making me twice as winded in half the time.

 

That said, spirits are still high, or should that be ignorance is bliss? I had intended to only run on mountains, and just do weights and such in town, but I fear I am going to have to see if I can string a few km's together fairly soon. The smokes are going to have to go; luckily, it seems all the shops are about to close as civil war breaks out, so with typical lack of forethought I should soon be forced into a position of quitting without even trying, so there's something to look forward to. I shall have to get a pair of running shoes before the war starts, running in hiking boots is quite rough, and perhaps is to blame for a small part of my lack of technique. Hopefully.

 

The hill we "ran" up is just over a 4km round trip, with about a 300m altitude change along the way, so we will have to able to do that 14 times in a day. I could happily walk up and down it all day, but the minute there is running involved it all turns to shit. Yesterday we did it twice (well, the fit guy did - I stopped and waited or him a little over halfway back on my first round!), so we need to increase it by 2 every month, so that we are doing it 10 times in the month before the event. I hope this highly detailed training plan will pull us through! It sounds so easy on paper.

 

The very worst that can happen is that I get a whole bunch fitter and realise at some point that I'm not going to get fit enough, in which case I will sell my running shoes, put my hiking boots back on, and go hiking again. Of course, this assumes that no lasting injuries are incurred, a very real possibility!

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bleep, you're my hero, mate. Can't possibly imagine a better bloke to look up to than you. 

 

Sorry for my awful attempts at britishisms. Just trying to seem cool, I suppose. Keep getting on with what you're getting on, my friend. Cheers.

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Thanks Stuck! I fear I may be making it sound more heroic than it actually is. The reality of a wheezing, vomiting runner on his last legs is getting driven home to me as the aches from yesterday's amble begin to set in.

 

On a more urgent note, the "how not to die" part of the title may be suddenly more relevant than the training bit. I may not have time to get my running shoes after all, it seems the timetable for civil war has been brought forward, and it has begun. About fucking time, if you ask me. I am getting What's Apps of shooting, burning buildings, etc, and it's all quite exciting. We have just finished a crisis meeting deciding who is coming to work tomorrow (we have to appear to be open to the government, who will regard us being pro-revolution should we shut, and appear closed to the raging mobs, who will regard us us as pro-government if we are open), and despite all that, we must appear broke and poor to all concerned so that no looting takes place from either side! Another day at the office.

 

Will update if anything further happens. I have a horrible feeling the army and police are just going to squash this ruthlessly, and life will go back to what passes for normal in this crazy place.

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Your posts had me in stitches (laughs/giggles), bleep, until I got to the part about civil war and shootings and burning buildings. I know the media makes it out to be just like that all the time in the metro areas of this country, but that's not true at all. 

I'm going to stick to the stitches and laugh at and with you about vomiting from exercise and the idea that you'll be ready, eager and willing for the 50K in December. I have no doubt that you'll show me up and do the damn thing and come in with some sort of award, even if it is the C250K award. (There's an app here that calls itself C25k--Couch to 5K. It would be much too tame for you.) You remind me a bit of my dad, actually, who is always ready for an adventure and to try some new way to challenge himself. He also likes to experiment with things, too. lol. (Am I actually having a Dad-crush on you? I don't think so, since you're young enough to be the parent of small children. ;) )

As I said before, you've given me a little bit of oomph in my daily walks with my dog and I am thinking about entering some sort of event with Ed next spring. It can't actually be a race, for many reasons. 1) He's 6 inches (15 cm) taller than I am. 2) He's got long legs, I've got short ones, even for our respective sizes. 3) He (damn him!) stopped smoking two [3?] years ago when I made him take Chantix with me so we could stop smoking together. He stopped smoking the very day the brochure said he should and hasn't had a satisfying cigarette since then. I kept up with my 1++ pack/day habit and became slightly unhinged from the med. (You would have loved the dreams. I was torn between channeling my inner-bleep and being completely terrified.)

I wore shoes that gave me blisters on my heels 3 days ago, so I've taken the last two days off. (For weather, too.) I WILL be on my game tomorrow, though. Pete (the pup) and I will take a walk on the beach and let my poor feet heel for another day before we hit the park. I live at the coast and there isn't even a hill around here, but I'm with you in spirit. Even though I would neva eva work out so much that it made me vomit. That's just silly. 

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Good for you Ne! I too have failed to stop smoking, Champix and all, but the dreams were great! I have another pack of the stuff lying around, and keep meaning to start taking it...

 

Well, after civil war threatened to blacken our skies, everyone did what they always do here, and just forgot about it and went on with life. It was very exciting for a while, today I'm sitting quietly at my desk and the birds are chirping. Apparently tomorrow is the day we are all supposed to stay home from work in protest, although I can't see how that's going to help anyone.

 

Yesterday afternoon i ran the furthest I have ever run continuously, a whopping 3 km's. That's further than my previous best by about 2.9km's, but it felt dreadful. Every step of it. I forgot my phone at home, and as I dragged my wheezing carcass through the door, it beeped, and told me to be more active.

 

The more I think about this, the more dumb I feel. As Mentium says, why sign up for something you hate. I wish I had an answer.

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bleep, Congrats on setting an awesome goal. I run ultras and I may have a few suggestions. What's the cut off time for the race?  I'd work back from that. Can you fast walk the whole thing?

I interval run. I run 4 minutes and walk 1 minute. Jeff Galloway has a lot of info about this online. This really helped me to quit bargaining with myself to get to the next mailbox before I would let myself walk. 

Having said that I entered a 230K stage race that I was totally unfit for and walked almost all of it. I thought I was ready for the heat and humidity of Sri Lanka (I live in Florida,) but I was totally out of my element. Plus I'd never done more than a 50K prior. 

I'm now training for 3 Fat Ass races here in Florida. In 2 weeks I do a 50K, in a month I do a 6 hour race and in 2 months I do a 46 mile race. Shit. 

Just train and don't let the bad days get you down. So much of it is a mental game. Usually good music helps me. 

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Thanks Missy! Unfortunately the terrain is such that the last stage is the longest, at 30km, and it's up, over and down the highest mountain in Zim, with no extraction points, so I would imagine the cut-off will be a somewhat disappointing 11am or thereabouts if you aren't at the right point by then. I'm not overly concerned, to be honest. It's such a stretch that I will complete it that I'm feeling no pressure, and will be pretty astounded if I can fast walk even the first 2 stages, let alone run. I've managed to locate the flyer, so you can get an idea of the terrain, there's not too much that even a fit fucker could run, in my considered opinion - lots of altitude changes!

 

Good luck for your races, those are hectic mileages, especially in heat! 230km's! Sweet Mary. I don't drive that far if I can avoid it. On that note, I wouldn't drive 50km's unless I had a good reason.

 

In the flyer I notice there is a plan B if the weather turns to shit. The weather often turns to shit in that part of the world because of the mountains, so I am hoping, hoping, hoping, that it does, and plan B is a piss-up in the lodge, but I have my doubts. No doubt there is some equally dreadful alternative planned that doesn't involve Mt Nyangani, which has a reputation for people disappearing from in inclement weather.

 

Let us know how your races go, please feel free to use this thread, before it just becomes one long complaint from me!

Final Sky Run Info 2016.pdf

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12 hours ago, Missykc said:

I interval run. I run 4 minutes and walk 1 minute. 

What a coincidence! I do the same thing, only like in the exact reverse order!

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Alright, y'all. I've put my running (okay, walking) shoes back on. Today I did 3.6 miles (5.8k) in 50 minutes. You probably don't remember, but last week I was doing about 3 miles in an hour. I got back to the car looking like I had a shower, and feeling like I wouldn't have enough oomph to take one when I got home. Oh, and I really, really wanted a cigarette. :( (I'm no longer smoking in our cars. Yet another goal I've set my mind to and probably the most annoying one...) 

Bleep, if you keep it up, you WILL get the runner's high. It is a beautiful thing, and something to look forward to as you drag your self along. And about the race? Whatever. Just keep aiming for it, and decide when you get there. 

I was thinking I wouldn't be fit enough to do some sort of race until next spring, but I think I'm going to look for something to do in October. Yay, us! 

Oh, one last thing...About the music. Last time I got sober and super-fit, I was all about the angry rap to motivate me. (Remember?) This time, I find it very annoying. Even my beloved Eminem is too full of spite. (Maybe it's because I'm walking this park that is very peaceful?) But I have to listen to something with a quick beat because I find that if it's a slower song, like classic rock, I go slower, too. (Oh, actually I have 2 JayZ songs that are still on this year's "Goal" mix. Dirt Off Your Shoulder ("Ladies is pimps too, go on brush your shoulders off") and 99 Problems. He uses the word b*tch in it, which is annoying. Instead I say booze. "I got 99 problems but booze ain't one." :)

Happy trails y'all!

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You all on this thread inspired (guilted?) me to jog (mostly) instead of walk today. Damn you all to the fiery hell that I lived through those 40 minutes.

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That's so great, @StuckinLA! Your post inspired me to actually try jogging a little bit on our walk this morning. I think bleep said it best when he described it... 

On July 4, 2016 at 3:25 AM, bleep said:

it is the most unnatural and ungraceful feeling. It seems to take much more energy than walking fast, and covers less ground, whilst making me twice as winded in half the time.

Yep. That's pretty much how I felt, and looked, this morning. That said, I'm stoked (chuffed) about the fact that I'm going faster or longer just about every day. My longest has been 3.8 miles (6.1km). My fastest has been 13 minute/mile. I am looking forward to combining the two! 

I feel pretty good, too. I've been diligent even though I have to make myself actually put on my sneakers and DO IT. It helps a great deal that the Husky in the house is now expecting a daily walk and is very vocal about it. Here's just one example of what she sounds like, only instead of being prompted, she's usually sitting or standing next to me, staring at me. And yes, she really does talk like this, especially when she's annoyed. We can make her howl, too, by howling at her. I should get a video posted on Youtube so we can get rich and famous. (She's much prettier than the dog in the video. And the owners apparently got a sponsorship [or whatever] from Disney.) (omg. I just spent like 20 minutes watching videos of Huskies talking. Hysterical.) 

In other, more important news, I checked up on what's going on in Zim, and this was written yesterday:

http://www.zimbabwesituation.com/news/the-end-is-coming-for-mugabe-zimbabwe-looks-to-be-on-the-brink-of-revolution/

I don't know how accurate it is, of course, but it sure paints a scary picture, @bleep! I hope all is well and you're navigating the fine line between the govt and the rebels. 

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I did a Park Run the other week, running is not what I train for, I did used to be a good level competing runner but retired through injury. Recently however putting in a couple of running sessions per week have been helping me with main sport.........so did the 5k, I knew I was covering 5k in my sessions so was confident I could complete it.

 

Ended up 2nd in my age group. Loved it, will do it again.

 

Do something you enjoy, make it fun, set a goal, do it!

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Shit, it's contagious, I am deeply sorry!

 

The revolutions seems to have fizzled, as suspected. There are calls for more stayaways, but I can't see what they accomplish, so it looks like we will be dragging this on for a while longer.

 

The "training" continues, I have decided to drop the weights in favour of more running, seeing as the thing I am training for is a run, and not a weight lifting competition. We went running up our mountain on the weekend, and my dodgy ankle looks like it plans to throw a spanner in the works. If I can work out how to train for a run whilst sitting down and keeping weight off my ankle, I will be sorted. I'm thinking some form of PlayStation game with lots of running might work.

 

I have also decided it will be much more fun to train if I can find someone significantly unfitter than me to train with, rather than the reverse. Most people who fit that description are either hospitalised or dead though.

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Re: Running

I do gym twice a week - And I jog every morning

Important thing I have learned is to run at your speed - If I run too fast I find it hurts too much so I jog as best I can @ 6km hour and I can go for miles, increase this to 10km hour and I am done by the end of the road

Strange but true

Regards

 

Bacman

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Does stationary count as a speed?

 

In my very limited experience thus far, I've noticed this hugely already. I can plod around the block, but I keep having to tell myself to slow down. The minute I forget, my lungs and legs remind me though, so going too fast is not much of an issue yet! What do you guys reckon is the best thing to be doing at this point - trying to increase my speed, or my distance? Both are dismal. I was reading that there are 2 types of muscle, and a person tends to predominate in one or the other. Either you have the slow, steady tireless type, or the quick, speedy burst type capable of short fast sprints before tiring; I think I've got a third type, a slow, plodding muscle that tires easily.

 

On an unrelated but highly annoying front, I added an extra block to my run yesterday, and my phone tells me I ran less distance than the day before. Looking at the map, and using common sense tells me it is clearly further, so I have lost all confidence in the bloody thing.

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bleep, I would go for distance over speed. But maybe that's because I'm not fast!

As far as your ankle goes, if you're near water you could get a floatation belt and "jog/run" in water that's deeper than your height. I rehabbed this way. Plus it was boring for me so I got to work with the chatter in my head. 

I run a 50K on Saturday. God help me. 

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Good luck with your 50k, @Missykc! Very cool. 

Bleep, once again your posts have me literally laughing out loud. Great way to start my day. And I think this is my favorite thread, ever. (Though that changes weekly, if not daily, depending on my mood. You know how it is!) 

Super bummer about your phone app. Maybe try a different one? I don't know if mine is 'calibrated' correctly, but I use the same device (my iPod) every time, so at least it's consistent. (Consistently wrong or right doesn't matter…) But I'd be hopping mad if I went an extra anything and didn't get credit for it. And I'd never trust that thing again. It's probably cheaper to get a different app than throw away your phone. Or perhaps you could do the same distance and find out if it is UE (user error--on a side note, I learned this term from the Administrator who set this forum up from us because the majority of questions and problems I had with the forum itself were in fact UE. Very annoying. Anyway…) 

Bacman, I walk at almost the same rate that you jog. I think it's different muscles used for one vs. the other. I abhor jogging. And like bleep said, I think I would actually go slower and I definitely feel awkward and clumsy when I try to jog or run. Actually, I have never tried to run. That sounds terrible! 

Hang in there, bleep. I disagree that a less fit person to train with would help. I just heard on a podcast yesterday that comparing yourself to others can help (attain a goal) or hurt (for many reasons). But the bottom line is that training with someone who is more fit is better, at least according to the research. They could have made it all up, for all I know. So actually, who knows? Sounds like you're stuck with the guy who goes faster than you, though. 

Wrap that ankle! Or do something so it doesn't go kaput on you while you're training. 

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I hope your 50km's is drawing to an end Missy. Cripes, just the thought gives me shivers.

 

Well, I've done 4 runs this week, all at the same paltry distance of 3.5km's. Although it does not seem to be getting any easier whatsoever, I did notice that during yesterday's run there was a brief period of not feeling nauseous, so I consider this sterling progress. Tomorrow I am hoping to keep up with Mike until we are at least out of the carpark when we attack the hills again.

 

My phone seems to have settled down, and I think perhaps in my agony I was weaving all over the road, resulting in the extra distance being recorded.

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4 runs is great, bleep! Compare it to the fact that you weren't…doing anything at all a couple of weeks ago and give yourself a pat on the back!

Turns out my pedometer thing-y on my iPod is wrong. Took a walk with Ed yesterday morning and my device read 4.3 miles in an hour. His read 3.6. We measured it out and his was right. :( I'm going to try clipping mine, rather than keeping it in my pocket, in case it's getting jostled around too much. 

Somehow, along the way, I pulled a something in my knee and woke up on Friday morning unable to bend my leg for a couple of hours. If I could remember all the knee parts from Anatomy 101, I could probably tell you what it was, but alas, I'm too old to remember that long ago. I have to admit I freaked out about it, because I saw myself unable to exercise for a while until it healed, and then I'd just gain more weight and be more miserable. But nope. Lots of ibuprofen and a day of rest and it was fine. Whew! 

I also realized this week that I'm going to have to up my game if my goal is weight loss. The walk in the morning makes me HUNGRY beyond anything reasonable. Diets don't work, and plus, they suck. (I've already given up ice cream, mayo, and simple carbs. That's deprivation enough, dammit.) So will start actually working out again this week. Pfffft. 

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I completed the 50K!  It took me 6hours and 27 minutes to go 50K and then we had to finish the loop for almost 32.5 miles. We were allowed to start early (Race started at 8:40 am) and I started around 4 am to beat the heat. I interval ran 26 miles and walked the rest. 

Its 2 days later and I still feel the pain but I did it!

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THAT IS SO GREAT, @Missykc!! I want to do that. Sort of. I'm appalled by what I've read about marathoners--black toe nails and blown knees and all kinds of physical damage. Does that stuff happen to you, or do you do these things and not strain yourself so much? 

 

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I run slow so I don't damage my joints or tendons. Prior to the 6 day race in Sri Lanka I'd had 1 blister. With that race I had 8 blisters (I fell into a number of water crossings.) and 1 toenail that came off. I pretty much prepare for the things I run. Mark those words!  Hahaha! 

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Well that makes me feel a bit better about possibly running (jogging/walking) a long way, Missy. I want a bumper sticker that says 26.2. Not really. Actually, I would. (For those of you who don't know, a marathon is 26.2 miles. And putting a bumper sticker on your car that brags about it is a thing here in the US.) So yeah, I would totally be one of those annoying people that would be braggy and put a sticker on my car. I mean, why else would I run one?! ;) 

Didn't exercise at all yesterday. Didn't do anything productive, actually. Today's going to be better. 

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I downloaded C25K, the running app that gets you from "couch to 5k" this morning, @terryk's recommendation. It starts with (after warmup) walk for 90 seconds and jog for 60 seconds. Turns out I can't jog for 60 seconds.  I was breathing like I had run a marathon, and got a cramp in my shin about 25 seconds into it. <please insert offensive swear word here> 

So now my pathetic goal is just to be able to jog slowly for 1 whole minute. Or get to where bleep has started! Whatever. I know I gotta start somewhere.

I figured it might make you feel pretty good, bleep! But in my defense, I think I have 10 years on you. (Sorry to be defensive. I'm really frustrated for obvious reasons.) 

Hope you got some good runs in since your last post. Don't quit! I need all the motivation I can get!! 

EDIt: Also, it's really hot here. But then I remembered that Missy lives in the far south, and I stopped whining to myself. I just checked the weather in Zim, and it's nice running weather. So yay, bleep! 

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Hectic Missy, well done. That really is epic!

 

Indeed, it's great weather here for running, but good for nothing else. I am not built for winter, I freeze in the mildest chill. We are in the middle of a cold snap here, and it's bitter. Don't look up the temperatures, you will only laugh at me.

 

Good stuff Ne, great to see others joining me in my misery! It's amazing which strange parts of the body pipe up and complain when called upon for activity. It turns out that my body is very democratic, and each part is making sure it gets a turn to stand up and be counted. The weekends run was a success, of sorts. a total distance of nearly 8km's, although given how steep some of it is, not all of it was running, there was a fair amount of walking involved. Still, I reckon it was more than I could have comfortably done 2 weeks ago. Then on Monday I ran nearly 6km's without stopping, although it was all downhill. When I realised how far from home I was, and how up hill the return journey was, I immediately stopped and got my wife to come get me. Today was a rest day, so I'll see what tomorrow brings.

 

I'm noticing improvement, but this runners high I've heard so much about still eludes me.

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