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The End of my Addiction

Checking In - March 2017

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17 hours ago, StuckinLA said:

 But man, I don't want to quit.

I heard somewhere that in Russia they're thinking of a ban on people UNDER a certain age buying cigarettes. So it would be illegal for anyone born after a certain year to buy cigarettes. That's not a bad idea either.

I don't want to quit either. Sorta. 

Um, don't we have a ban by age? That didn't work. But the advertisements worked. Smoking among(st) teens is at an all time low. Less than 2%, I think. 

Still at parents' house. Has NOT been a good visit. Wish I hadn't come. Feel like they're very dismissive and combative. But hell, I feel that way about a lot of people right now, and I'm the common denominator. I guess it's me? 

Nah. It's them. 

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Gooooood morning everyone!

Just kidding, it's not that great a morning. Not much to say since yesterday, but I did just have a great assertive moment. Long story, probably very little payoff. So I'm having my car windows tinted, and they come to you with a van and all their stuff. So the guy is here and asks about shade and all that. On the fronts, you know, I say I just don't want to get pulled over by the cops all the time. He suggests the "super light" and I figure he knows what's up and I say sure. Go back inside, get to thinking. Man, that sounds "super" light, like why bother? And the back windows are going to be *dark* and that'll just look screwed up.

Normal me would've just sat here with that thought in the back of my head until the guy was done and I'd paid and he'd left, and then I'd be pissed for years every time I got in the car or even looked at it.

So I put my coffee down and went back outside and asked him, Hey how light is that one we talked about? He says, Pretty light like you can't really tell they're tinted.

Huh, I say, well is there a shade darker?

Sure, it's not legal but the medium is like what we have on the front of our van.

Yes, I say, yes let's go with that one.

And again, long story for a very small point. But the point I think could be an important one. Freaking tell people what you want. Assert yourself. Not like an a-hole but like everyday ordinary people do all the time. Just like that, I saved myself a whole lot of pissed off. It only took a minute, a tiny bit of uncomfortable Hey sorry to bother you again...

Anyway, that was my story. Also, the cigarette log is working well again so far. Just tiny hashmarks in my datebook that I'm carrying around with me all the time anyway. And I found the last couple days that as I get up to the 15 marks by the end of the night I don't even really want that "one more" before bed.

Have a good one everybody.

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Hello! I could not figure out where to post, but I am just going to post here.  

Today is my first day (evening, really) without a drink. I haven't gone 24 hours without a drink in at least 6 months. I typically have at least two drinks a day. Some days, I have far more than that. I do realize that the evening is not yet over for me.  It is 9:09pm here in The Big Easy, but it is most certainly far past the witching hour for me. 

Hope everyone has a good evening.


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I wonder if anyone has any advice.First switch 1.5 years ago was 180,second switch last summer was 160.Titrated back up from zero but still no switch at 240 so went down to zero again but am in 225.Should I keep going up or go down again.Maybe I didn't leave it long enough at zero?

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