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The End of my Addiction
Ne1

What's news? in June...

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empyr3al

Yeah @Ne1 relapse is hard to define.  Its either a way of life you return too, which for me turns out to be physical dependence (daily and needing it in the morning) which is why I described it that way.  Its way open to interpretation and not a perfect statement but as close as I could get.  I find if I lapse, it become relapse if I continue the next day or to cure my hangover with a drink in the morning which then leads to more.  On and on and on.  So my definition of relapse.

So relapse can be state of mind, or a return to a state of mind and recouring physical addiction.

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Ne1

One more! @nicnak, I hope you're still plugging along. How long are you going to stay off of baclofen this time? When you drank, could you see a specific reason or purpose? Are you doing anything else to curtail cravings? I know maintaining a healthy weight is really important, but I have to say that chocolate was and always will be really helpful for me when I'm craving-crazy. Exercise takes too long! ;) 

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Nicnak

@Ne1

yep last drank in fri and not drinking today.

I don't know how long to stay off it.Last time I waited 3 weeks but my constipation still hadn't gone in that time.

I think I should wait at least 3 months.

Today was the 1st day with no Bac and I'm feeling pretty low.Probably the effects of combing off? And couldn't get to sleep last night so took half a sleeping tablet.Bac is great for sleep!

 

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Molly78
4 hours ago, Ne1 said:

I'm a snowflake, after all, and expected to have to take a concoction of off-label, totally unique to my personal brain-chemistry, pills

That made me laugh - wouldn't we all like some of those!  But maybe in the future.....?

 

4 hours ago, Ne1 said:

Et viola.

That also made me laugh - et voila, Ne, et voila! There's an accent over the "a" as well which I can't reproduce on my UK keyboard so I don't blame you for that.   But we now have a Frenchman posting in Newbies using almost perfect English which shows up all of us who need Google translate for the French baclofen website!

Like you, I love everyone on here.  I feel bereft when it all goes quiet, like I suddenly lost a load of friends.

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BarrelChested

@Ne1 and @MJM -- I've found myself being quite negative, lately. A friend asked me, "where would you go if you could take a vacation." I replied that I simply don't know -- that I don't even see the point in taking a vacation. Nothing interests me... and it all just sounds like a real pain in the @ss. I've been to fourteen (?) countries and love foreign language... so, well, this is a sign that something's amiss.  I suspect that it's lack of exercise. I'm simply very dependent on that trauma for my body chemistry to be "right." I've just managed to get myself into a funk. I know what I need to do... and yet I'm slacking. I went from at LEAST ten hours per week to zilch (the inability bend a knee for nearly two months is a reasonable excuse). Anyway, I'm damned near positive that exercise will help. This is inductive reasoning, of course; past performance is not necessarily an indicator of future performance. However, just as much as I expect the Sun to rise in the morning -- just because it always has, despite the lack of logical necessity that it will/must -- I have "faith" that exercise will help.

Kicking a cute girl to the curb because she decries everything as "fake news... " well, that doesn't help matters. Still, they say that you  can respect someone that you don't love... but you can't love someone you don't respect. So, there's that.  I'll stop, here, before I start a pity party.

Ah, and because I'm a nob, I'd like to forward a thought about politics and society. We [functionally] no longer have a free press in this country. It's really sad. I think that society would benefit from legislation bringing-back both traditional journalistic standards and something akin to The Fairness Doctrine. Our country is doomed without a free press. And I think that we can all agree that people tend to lie nearly exclusively for self-benefit. Being caught in a lie should be shameful and career-destroying (or at least quite damaging).  Part of my "funk" is despair over what's happening in the U.S.  It's a damned disaster... and I get the impression that very few people are pleased with government. That we don't have reliable media (and even widespread mistrust of wire services (e.g., AP, Reuters, etc)... er, it certainly doesn't help.  I hope that my "political rant" is within the bounds of "fair play," that it's considered to be respectful, and that it's not blaming anyone. I'm heartsick over this and I want people to "DO" something. I see the steady erosion of compassion and respect for others. No one wins from that.  I feel that both sides of the aisle are being manipulated by yellow journalism and vested interests. I miss the days when the two sides were so close to the center that MOST people could have well-reasoned, logical-ish debates. I mean, it was never The Brady Bunch... but I do remember when things weren't so acrimonious and vile.  There are plenty of problems in the world to tackle -- and spending so much energy on in-fighting is just a fscking waste. #micDrop

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Molly78
17 hours ago, BarrelChested said:

I miss the days when the two sides were so close to the center that MOST people could have well-reasoned, logical-ish debates. I mean, it was never The Brady Bunch... but I do remember when things weren't so acrimonious and vile.

Amen to that @BarrelChested.  I don't think that comment is a "political rant" by any means.  I'm guessing most of us, on both sides of the Atlantic, feel the same.

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Nicnak

So day 5 again no real cravings.Been off Bac 2 days now and feeling very low.Hoping it's just coming off the Bac but have started taking Prozac again as I'd stopped taking because I thought it might have interfered with the Bac.

No motivation to do anything and my appetite is down a lot.

Just sent off another online liver function test as I'm always paranoid about my liver health

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Molly78
32 minutes ago, Nicnak said:

So day 5 again no real cravings

Well that's one good thing anyway.  Sorry you are feeling so low.  Fingers crossed for the liver test results!

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BarrelChested
5 hours ago, Nicnak said:

Just sent off another online liver function test as I'm always paranoid about my liver health

So, for fifteen or so years, I tested positive for elevated ALT levels. This happened, first, in the military. No one explained to me what this might mean. I just noticed it on my results/etc. Since no one mentioned it, well, I [incorrectly] figured that it wasn't a big deal. Um, no, it can be a big deal (http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/alanine-aminotransferase-alt#1). I later learned about milk thistle. I have a Biology degree and am a little nutso about health. So... I eventually determined that it was unlikely to harm me. I started taking it. I explicitly asked my GP to include a full liver panel with my annual physical.  For the first time in many years, my liver results came back as completely normal (no elevated ALT/AST).  If you read about milk thistle, you'll see that the medical community hasn't found conclusive support for the assertion that milk thistle helps with NAFLD or cirrhosis. That it seems to work for me... well, that's a helluva small sample size. For my body, I believe that it helps. I could just as easily be the case that I simultaneously made other dietary/lifestyle changes that lead to the positive/healthy outcome.  Food for thought.  Good luck!

 

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Ne1

Hate to say it, @Nicnak, but feeling blue when you (we) quit drinking is kinda normal. It's all about the brain chemistry... Exercise? Chocolate? Lots of sex? Whatever you can do to get those dopamine receptors active and recepting. 

Speaking of brain chemistry, anyone catch this week's Radiolab? (http://www.radiolab.org/story/revising-fault-line/) Totally disturbing. A neurologist makes claims that everything is biology and free will doesn't exist. I happen to agree with him. ugh. So depressing. Sorta. Also makes me think I'm (we're) on the right track treating this disease, this addiction thing, with medications. Not that that particular line of thinking is anything new, of course. Not for me. It only took a year, and sufficient amount of baclofen, for me to turn my back on almost everything I'd ever learned about addiction treatment. Which is saying something, I think, since I've been at this treatment thing for more than 20 years. 

I haven't been to my AA group in more than a month. I was feeling pressure to reach out and phone people, get a sponsor, yadda yadda. Felt bad about not doing those things, wanted to do those things, but now I think it's just not gonna work. I didn't meet anyone, except one really old guy, I wanted to get to know better. Does that make me a snob? I thought so at first, but now, I think I'm just not that into people. You know? 

I'm rambling. 

@empyr3al, (dammit, the notifications aren't working again. I'll have to sign in and out again. Back in a minute.)

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Ne1

@empyr3al (that's better! :)) I get what you're saying about the definition of relapse. On a different topic, I've read enough of bits and pieces of your story, and your posts here and on MWO, to wonder about your whole story. Where is it? In the Newbies section of MWO? I'll look there. Hope things are going well with the pooches. Had to zap the hell out of poor Pete this morning because I gave her a pigs ear, and she growled at me when I told her to 'leave it'. She gets a special treat (chicken) for leaving it, but gets zapped at a high level for guarding it, not to mention growling! Bad, bad, bad dog. Other than that, though, our training, with and without the collar, is going remarkably well. I'm inspired, I guess, to finally make her into a super-dog, the way our last one was. And fortunately, she hasn't forgotten a lot of her early training. (Looking me in the eye, touching my hand with her nose, etc.) So on to getting her to stop on a command and eventually, stay. I imagine by the end of the summer, she'll be able to sit with us in the front yard. Never off leash, since she's still a husky and bound to find trouble, but on a loose lead. And maybe, someday, I'll get an electric fence and be able to trust her enough to trust that it'll work. 

My secret goal (don't tell my husband) is to get another puppy next summer. A golden retriever or something stupid and undemanding and furrily friendly to everyone and everything. Slobbery, sheddy and affectionate. That's the next order of business. Can you imagine what it would have been like if I'd gotten a Border Collie? omg. I was so delusional. Thank all that matters I didn't follow through with that misguided idea. Rambling again...

For some reason I'm channeling @StuckinLA today. Thinking about you. What're you doing? 

@BarrelChested, readership of the NYT is up dramatically since the election. I thought that was pretty cool. Unfortunately, they announced today that they're going to start charging for the NYTCooking app I've been using to find and organize recipes and prepare meals. It made me think, once again, about subscribing, but I won't read it.

I find that I'm torn between being less tolerant and wishing for more tolerance in general. I spent some time last weekend with super-Christian (don't believe in dinosaurs) relatives and I wondered, again, why I put up with the sh*t they say. There's no arguing it, no point in debating or even discussing. I mean how do you have a discussion with someone who doesn't believe in science?  Anyway. I live too far south. (Don't know how you do it in Texas, ffs. That's insane.) (I had a friend in nursing school from Nigeria. Really, really liked him. He told me he planned on moving to TX when he graduated, which he actually did, but I begged him not to do it. Am I generalizing and insulting a bunch of people from Texas. You betcha. Tough noogies.) 

Still rambling...

When or how can you get back on your bike? 

Pretty productive day yesterday, today I'm determined to do more of the same, only more. I WILL finish my porch this week. I will, I will, I will. And some other stuff for my friend and for some websites I'm involved in.  

Sadly, Molly, I know very little about other languages and am very thankful that almost everywhere I've been people speak English. Even China, even 30 years ago. I miss being young and just deciding to go someplace. I keep thinking that Ed and I should just pack up the pooch and head to Norway. Or Costa Rica. Or anyplace but here, honestly. I have a friend who moved to Canada after Bush the first was elected. Why are so many of the places I could see us living so damn cold? Not that we're going anywhere. 

I'm sure you're tired of my little (what's it called? Train of thought? no. Word jamboree? Crapping around on the keyboard...) ramble. 

Ciao. ;) 

 

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Molly78
2 hours ago, Ne1 said:

readership of the NYT is up dramatically since the election.

According to a recent media programme on Radio 4 (UK) so is readership of The Atlantic.  They interviewed one of the editors who also attributed it to the current political situation.

I have personally read a lot more political stuff since the UK election, which although it produced a result initially pleasing for some of us, is rapidly turning into a train crash. I guess we all enjoy a good disaster movie.

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empyr3al

@Ne1 .  Zap, zapoodle, sir ben are the nick names for my poovanese.  Not sure what you meant by zap.  There this is an intro on MYO if you care to read it.  I've had a golden retriever before.  Its hip displaced and require a ton of attention.  These dogs I have are small but will out live my golden.  Wise choice in golden over spaniel though if you have limited space consider a small cross with a golden because both those breeds need space.   

With my new pup I worked hard on a name because dogs hear things differently.  Not sure if I am reiterating what I said before.  Crossing forums and FB gets confusing.  Strong S .. Strong A in naming conventions that they pay attention too.

Edited by empyr3al
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StuckinLA

Ah yes, the good ol' NYT. Cheerleading us into the Iraq war, paying a 6-figure salary to climate-denier Bret Stephens. I want to be excited by people reading newspapers, I really do. But with the editorial fuckery at NYT and Bezos buying the Washington Post, well, let's just say I believe some reforms are needed in the Fourth Estate. As Amy Goodman of Democracy Now! says, journalists should cover those in power not cover for those in power. Journalism should be the Fourth Estate, not for the State.

Things are pretty shitty here. Heard absolutely nothing from this school after the interview. Sent one followup email, but complete radio silence, so I assume I'll never hear from them again. Back to the job drawing board. Really sucks.

Leaving for Spain in a couple days. This trip has been in the works for a while, obviously, so nothing to do but go and enjoy it. Then hit the job search hard when I get back. Looks like it's going to be an all-of-the-above hustle: uber, starbucks, anything to pay some bills and keep me in my apartment. Been trimming some expenses in preparation. Cancelled my gym membership, reduced or cancelled all my monthly charitable donations, going to let my cleaning lady go. Today, actually. She's here now and at the end of the hour I gotta tell her this is it. I don't want to do that, but aside from cigarettes, car payment, insurance, and student loan she's the largest monthly expense I have. Hopefully I can get back on my feet and hire her back soon.

No real news otherwise. I am about out of MJ, and have so far decided to just let that go for a little while. As in, not buy any more just yet. Can't seem to avoid getting high if there's any weed here, and I think I'm a bit tired of it at the moment. Again, it's not a real "problem," but I'd rather get by without it for a little while. And the shop is right down the street, so if I change my mind it's not a big hassle. And that's also a thing I shouldn't be spending money on until the finances are sorted.

This post turned out to be longer than expected. Hope all's well in the world, folks.

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empyr3al

My keyboard or this forum screwed up again.  @StuckinLA, huge plane flights if you are using are insane.  Take Dimenhydrinate with you so you can survive (Motion sickness pills).  Amsterdam was like 9 hours or something.  You know its ridiculous when the person with you knows you are going to suffer AWS, kind of like torture.   That is so mean.   I actually hate some people that don't understand addiction.  I know how to step myself down but having someone else say no you cannot have any is like asking for death.

Yeah the news is f'd.  Not sure if the sources I use are legit but everything is biased.  CBC, BBC, etc.  I have extreme issues like it sounds you do about news. 

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empyr3al

We have severe warnings here in Canada.  Canada Day July 1st.  Though the government tried to play them down.  Its Canada's 150.  We are a different country than most.  We try HARD to be good people.  ( I really need a new keyboard as the backspace deletes everything i say).

 

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empyr3al

I am not going out tomorrow and that really screws with the concept of freedom.  Some asshat can come at me with a hammer ffs.  What is wrong.  Guns in the states.  Few here.  We are are a peaceful and loving country.

Edited by empyr3al
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BarrelChested
12 hours ago, StuckinLA said:

Things are pretty shitty here. Heard absolutely nothing from this school after the interview. Sent one followup email, but complete radio silence, so I assume I'll never hear from them again. Back to the job drawing board. Really sucks.

This is becoming increasingly common. Once upon a time, you dumped a girl. You broke her heart. You sat down and told her that it wasn't going to work out. Or, she did it to you. That was then. These days, you MIGHT get a "Cya... not -- YOLO!" text. Or, you might get "ghosted." Unfortunately, this lack of basic empathy and decency has bled-over into the job market. Around a year ago, after several interviews including an onsite interview... crickets. Six months later, I got a "we're no longer considering your candidacy" letter. Eat a d1ck, I say. I've also had complete crickets. Honestly, after three months, I wouldn't have worked for them (and, in fact, found a job pretty quickly).

So, hang in there, Kitty.  Don't take it personally. Our society is circling the bowl. Considering the number of turds I've met... maybe that's not so bad. Thirty years ago, I saw the writing on the wall. I saw the economic problems looming. I figured that it would be the environmental issues that took-down the great American experiment. That it wound-up being Snapchat and Facebook... well, who knew?  I'm ranting. Be good and be good to yourself, friend...

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StuckinLA

@BarrelChested, yeah the contingent/precarious labor market is so freaking terrible. No one will say they don't want you, because maybe, just maybe they might have a class they need covered down the road. These guys after the interview don't want to send me packing, because what if the one or two people they do have visit might not work out. The school I worked for last year, they don't want to tell me I'm not being rehired because their final enrollment numbers won't be in until later in the summer. And everyone things this "non-confrontational" route is somehow easier. It isn't. For anyone, really, since I have absolutely no reason to care about the job when I do get it.

I'm actually not that worried just yet. It's stressful, yes. Very stressful and makes just about everything more difficult - can't focus on the things I want to focus on. But I'm OK, and as soon as I get back from Spain I'll hit the ground running and find something, even if it's waiting some tables or whatever.

Also, didn't quite realize how the pay periods at my old job worked. Got a final paycheck I wasn't expecting, so I can float for a few months.

@empyr3al, thanks. Fortunately, I'm not physically addicted to anything at the moment. So the flights won't be that particular kind of torture, thank god.

And whatever I ultimately decide, I'm pretty happy about the couple of completely sober - AF and no pot - weeks coming up. It'll just be good for me.

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empyr3al

Its now July 1st.  It's Canada day.  We are celebrating one of the most free nations on the planet.

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Molly78

@empyr3al Canada is the one place a lot of my NHS colleagues want to emigrate to before the present government (soon to be no more, hopefully) manages to privatise everything & we end up like the USA, unable to afford treatment if you're poor.  I don't know how our friends across the pond manage to put up with that, although a lot of them seem to have voted in a guy who wants to disable the ACA (not present company involved in this discussion of course).

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empyr3al

@Molly78 We have a new experiment.  Equalized income being tested in a couple cities.  Its enough to survive at basic income levels instead of being poor.  Lets hope it works out.  I envy a lot of europe for its accomplishments.  But to be honest we are trying to be different in every way from the USA.   Not everything is perfect.   But our taxes are less than most European countries and higher than the USA.  I think of Canada as a learning experience.  Financial, Love, Peace.  Whatever way you want to look at it.

Edited by empyr3al
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BarrelChested

I try to maintain my health, chiefly, because I want to avoid crippling financial burden. There are two medications used to treat gout: Allopurinol and Colchicine. True, there have been a few new releases... but they're only for people that don't respond to these ancient drugs. As their use predates the FDA by thousands of years, they've been under the category of "GRAS" (generally regarded as safe). So, there's no need to do clinical trials on them (like, e.g., aspirin). HOWEVER, a company convinced the FDA to let it put it through trials in exchange for an exclusive deal to sell it -- and generics were banned. The price per-pill shot up from $0.09 to  $4.85. It's since risen in price. A one-month supply costs ~$400 (it used to be a $4 generic). So, even if I pay $110/wk for health insurance, that medicine is expressly not covered.

America excels at one thing above all: unfettered greed. I watched a soldier die because his equipment was made by the lowest bidder. Oh, well, we also lead the world in incarceration rates and per-capita spending on health care. So, we've got that going for us.  Ugh.

I exercise because I know that even though I'm upper middle class... it's only temporary. An injury or illness can take it away in a blink. I'm just trying to delay the inevitable -- getting fscked over to increase shareholder value.

So, I'm a little pissed off. It wasn't my intention to rant, tonight. Oh well. I used to love this country. It's becoming hard to have a basic respect for it. I had a good friend (we did construction work, together, years ago) that needed emergency surgery (appendix, I think) while at university. He became saddled with that debt. He couldn't enroll in classes -- nor could he transfer -- until he paid it. He never finished uni and still works in construction.  I had a friend in the 90s working on her Masters degree. She had been married and had MS (Multiple Sclerosis). She became ineligible to remain on COBRA... and was uninsurable (pre-existing condition). She had to wait 6mo before she could get onto state insurance. She took a drug called Copaxone. At that time, it cost $1,600/mo for the drug -- which stopped the degradation of myelin. In those six months, she lost all feeling on one side of her body.  That same drug now costs $6,000/mo -- twenty years LATER.

So, I have to pay to subsidize people breeding and to subsidize churches... but it's somehow "wrong" to help people pay for medicine? Hand-outs are okay for the 1% and for religion but not for education and medical care?!? I don't understand and I don't want to understand.

And I want a fscking drink. @Ne1 got me thinking about health and I kinda decided that I shouldn't drink for a bit. I'll see how long I last. I need to "get back on track" with exercising and being healthy. I ABSOLUTELY have finally noticed that booze really does some harm. All those years of unknowingly killing myself with gluten masked booze's true impact. So, I hope that I can make it without getting lynched by a bunch of mouth-breathing Murika First-ers. Ugh.  It's hard to respect a country that treats people like this.

 

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empyr3al

There is a real difference between capitalization and democracy than semi socialist class nations like Canada.  I am not embarrassed if you want to think of us as socialist or even almost communist because seriously what you describe is insane.  That is insane.  Our drug prices are way higher than countries that have bargained like New Zealand.  Rant all you want because really its heartbreaking, but healthy to let it out.  Here in Canada we pay to help eachother.  Its not always good but its way different from being rich to poor in a heart beat.  The taxes we pay are a little higher but you don't risk your entire life, household and family if you get sick. Although there are stories about this happening and something we are working on.  I think that was Obama's belief too as he knew many Canadians.  I envy the Netherlands personally because its sick the health care there and personal visits from doctors to your home.  Class division sucks and disabling a person from completing something to help your society is faqued up

The equalized income experiment is obviously paid by tax dollars and only like 20,000$ a year but its way better than what we have for social assistance now which is about $10000 if you have a place to live or $180 a month with no home.  That is what Ontario Works pays.  EI (employment insurance is a little different).  ODSP different still.   Its enough to pay for an apartment in some small cities and thats not all it includes.  We have some medications covered if you are on assistance.  Like a 1000 but they are not the most obvious and practical. Its an attempt at changing the class system and enabling people.  Lets hope people don't abuse it so it can continue.  Our lending and "grace" for university is crazy.  You can get school paid for and your books.  Your living expenses while you do this for like 4-5 years.   You pay only a fraction of this back after you are done because the belief is that if you are educated you can be employable and help move the economy forward and therefore pay taxes.

My opinions of what we pay for immigrants when we have homeless and mentally ill people here bothers me.  It makes us look great but its not the truth.

The USA has it all wrong, its rich, poor class system is starting to look like a third world nation.  The fact it can change in an instant is crazy, from middle class to poor in heart beat.  I won't criticize as we don't have it right yet but we are trying where as I see the current system in the states becoming the opposite.

Dont want to be banned for being political.  Let me know if I stepped out of bounds.

Edited by empyr3al
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BarrelChested
10 hours ago, empyr3al said:

 I won't criticize as we don't have it right yet

I wholeheartedly disagree with this. I appreciate your deference and that you're polite (sooooo Canadian! Heh). We all arrived at this forum because we became critical of some "non-positive" practices in our lives. Societies are comprised, in part, of people. Some of the "rules" of the individual percolate through society. If we aren't brave enough to admit our failings, we'll never grow beyond them. No country, system, or individual is perfect. [[ redacted: removed religious reference]].  So, criticize.  Do you love your country of the image of your country? I write software for a living. I don't really give a flip about how it looks; I care about my work and spend most of my efforts on making it "internally beautiful and elegant." I'd like to do the same for my society. Globalization is painful... and it will challenge institutions and entrenched thinking. Capitalism is one of the more pernicious ideas. Provided that we make it through the environmental problems we're creating (we won't -- it takes 50-ish years for actions to come to fruition, due to the size and complexity of the planet; we are so far beyond fscked, already), countries will "go away." Borders are tools of division. Back when a people were homogeneous and bound-together by a common language (and thereby worldview) and cosmology... well, countries made more sense.  These days? IMHO, not so much.

Criticize.  If you just sit back and allow injustice, inequity, and abuse... well, IMHO, you're part of the problem. I'm a veteran, worked for 501c3/NGO, and endeavor to make a difference. However, were I able to find work outside of the U.S... I think it's not a bad time to leave.  I have colleagues from other countries that have been thinking the same thing. It's really the loss of a free press that's the most horrifying. This is a great danger... and it's the thing that makes me lose hope. You don't have to agree with me. I don't mind argument (hell, it's healthy). I do mind the absence of a source of "objective reality." There's the perception that there's no way to know what's True (capital "T").  I realize that this is not an accident... but it will cost us our society. It's incredibly stupid.

 

And, finally (I do hope that I don't get banned), Capitalism isn't inherently bad. It's a good system... but not in all models. If I have a company that sells health insurance and you're my customer, it's in the best interest of the shareholders for me to deny your claims.  You pay a certain amount, each month, betting that your total expenditure will be lower than your medical bills.  If that's true, then there's no way for me to make money. It just doesn't work. There's an inherent conflict of interest. "Socialism" is a word that most Americans don't understand. They conflate it with Soviet Communism (and the propaganda version of it it). I have yet to met an American that isn't a socialist. We socialize our roads, bridges, hospitals, police, fire/rescue, postal service, schools, etc, etc, etc.  When you have heavily-biased cable networks posing as "news" outlets spewing misinformation, it's very easy to mislead people. It's using fear and division and it's done for profit. Follow the money.

It's pathetic that I still care about my country. I care not in a nationalistic way but in a way that says, "this American experiment is important." St. John de Crevecoeur saw this as the unleashing of human potential. What I see today is the not the glory of all that we can accomplish but, instead, the depths of depravity to which men can sink. There will always be monsters. A healthy, mature society understands this an acts to limit their ill effects. They are the poison and parasite which will destroy America -- not terrorists, immigrants, or equal rights for all. Okay, I'm done (not really... but, meh, there are better things to do than shouting into the abyss).

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empyr3al

@BarrelChestedyes I dearly love my country and i would like to think of it as one of the best in the world.  The reason I say we don't have it right yet is what we are doing with the natives (indigenous people).  I won't glorify Canada but I am a proud Canadian.  We are trying to repair wrongs.

There is such division between the south and north in the USA and those with access to fresh water, education and internet.  The educated live in the right spots and gather together, but this does not make it diverse.  Much like this forum.  Admissions of wrongs and a way to move forward.  That is healthy.  I post because like you said you are a veteran and try to change the world.  Thats why I post.

I am critical but I care that I will not to be banned, because I do appreciate this place.  I challenge everything as most Canadians do. We are polite and will listen to everyone (most of us).  I would love to believe we are a world leader, but being self righteous because it can guise itself is wrong in many ways.  So I stay away from that.

As a software programmer, you must know a lot as I was a top down hacker for a long time.  Sounds like you are trying to obtain perfection and pride.  Ran BBS' and stuff prior to the Net and even then we were developing it as our systems would connect at night over telephone lines and share infomation from forums like FIDO net.  So information was being shared well before people learned of the net.  TV/News was our controller in a sense.  I do know how to program but top down was mainly what I did (Hex editing, registry, ini's, txt, boot, linux, unix, etc.).  Our internet is not so limited here that if you want to find correct news you can.  I watch various networks from around the world and understand their bias so I can come to some sort of realization of what is actually happening.  I educated my step daughter using a huge map of the world to explain what was going on.  Propaganda is real so its interesting to see different perspectives, watching Russian, Arabic, Canadian and US news is so skewed. 

On the topic of Capitalism, it is based on the dollar and how much.  The people at the top need not to be greedy.  Not allowing a claim because of the bottom line is entire wrong imho.  And yes almost every country is socialist.  I know the word is misguided amoungst many but it means so many different things.  It means cooperation.  Like you say, hospitals, etc.  Hospitals here are free generally because we believe its a human right.  Its legislated the limits at which we can do.  Banking is messed up in Canada.  America is a huge experiment.  Canada is part of North America and we are continuing to experiment and learn.

I'm sure many educated people want out of your country because its going backwards from an equal class system and being accepting of gay and lesians and race or even mental illness.  Again I say I will not criticize because its against my beliefs to judge people.  If that makes more sense to consider.  We all came here to this forum as addicts or family of addicts to learn a different way of life.

 

 

 

Edited by empyr3al
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Molly78

POTUS has now steppesdin to invite the UK parents of a sick baby to "come on over" for treatment (Charlie Gard case).

Whereas if he'd been born in the US he's be dead by now.

You couldn't make it up, could you.

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BarrelChested
13 minutes ago, Molly78 said:

Charlie Gard

The child is terminally ill. I'm sure that this is devastating for the parents. I wonder how they feel about their misfortune being used in a blatant attempt to elevate a 37% approval rating. Maybe I'm just cynical -- maybe he actually has a soft spot for white babies? What if the child had Muslim parents...?

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BarrelChested

If I believed in reincarnation, I'd be convinced that my dog was a battlefield commander in a previous life (ala Apocalypse Now). He didn't even raise an eyebrow to the cacophony around him (we were out... and things were exploding within, say, 200ft of us).  I suspect that I could run an entire belt through an M60 without -- unless rawhide is involved -- doing anything other than grunting, "ummphfffff!" (which, I think, is his way of saying alternatively "holy fsck, I'm beat" and "seriously?!?"). Ah, and his love of turning my backyard into a scene from Gallipoli has me leaning toward the whole "reincarnation schtick." This is, of course, meant to be humorous; my view of religion is far more grim.

BTW: I once went through a range exercise without earplugs. Once.  It will only ever take one time. That my dog is un-phased... and likely has better hearing... well, as he he also tunnels better than a Mexican drug lord... color me impressed.

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