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The End of my Addiction

Stuck Again


StuckinLA
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cross post from MWO

Been sicker than I have ever been in my life, it was the flu or stomach flu or something but it was puke off the side of the bed and lie for days in my own waste bad. Been in the hospital 3 times in the last month. The first time I signed out AMA, the second time I literally escaped running down 4 flights of stairs with security behind me, to then walk 2 miles home in the rain in only my slippers. Third time was the charm, discharged with a diagnosis of anxiety. My parents came and scooped me up and now I'm quarantined at their house, on lockdown until at least next month.

Life is, well, life. How's everyone else doing?

I have lost too many friends to this hellfvck disease. Check in, who's still alive?

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Hi StuckinLA.

I'm still alive. Indifferent to alcohol at 320mg since about this time last year. Unfortunately, I'm one of those they speak about in AA as having "grave emotional and mental disorders" lol and I continued screwing up my life and harming people around me sans alcohol. I had really used baclofen as a bandaid in many ways. It short-circuits the disease of alcoholism, but it does fuck-all for the self-loathing, and for me, really nasty hateful person that I have been my entire life - full of pain, fear, and resentment. At this point I'm working on healing that.

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